While some people believe we shouldn't talk down to ourselves, there are others who say a bit of self-deprecation (when done right) is great for our mental health. There are even experts who swear by it.
Like Karen Chambre, a psychotherapist with over 40 years of experience. Chambre says she often integrates self-deprecating humor into her sessions with clients.
"Self-deprecating humor reflects people’s flaws, allowing for vulnerability, introspection, identification, and entertainment. When self-deprecating humor is executed well, emotions can be regulated, trust can be established, and connection can be fostered," writes the therapist.
Chambre believes that this type of humor serves as a tool for us to recognize and embrace our flaws and imperfections with warmth and compassion.
According to the U.K. Therapy Guide, joking about our flaws and imperfections can be healthy. Self-deprecating humour signals high emotional intelligence, helps us diffuse awkward situations, and appeals to a sense of modesty and humility that many of us search for, notes the site. But it adds that this only applies when self-deprecating humor is used in moderation.
"When self-deprecating humour becomes a reflex and stems from feelings and inadequacy and self-loathing, it can be detrimental to your mental health," warn the experts.
Being able to poke fun at ourselves can also be good for our relationships. According to the experts over at Verywell Mind, people are generally more drawn to others who can laugh at themselves and not take life too seriously.
"By making light of your quirks, you can show that you are comfortable in your skin and less judgmental of the flaws in others," notes that site, adding that it may help boost your likeability and build stronger relationships with others.
The Verywell Mind team says that self-deprecating humor is a great way of expressing the unique and different aspects of your personality. It signals confidence, and helps you show others who you truly are and how you feel.
However, many experts warn that there's a thin line between seeing yourself with gentle humor and being self-demeaning or negative.
Poking fun at yourself is only beneficial if you are viewing your flaws or mistakes with kindness, if it allows you to see how embarrassing or difficult situations can be funny, or if it involves being able to laugh at yourself without veering into putting yourself down.
U.K. Therapy Guide suggests that how you receive compliments can be a good indicator of whether you use self-deprecating humour in a damaging or healthy way.
"If you’re quick to make fun of yourself, but when someone makes you a compliment and you feel uncomfortable accepting it, you may have self-esteem issues, and you should try to use self-deprecating humour less," notes the site. "Otherwise, those jokes can slowly affect your mental health, making you look at yourself from a negative perspective."
Another good gauge is to how others react to your self-deprecating jokes. The less laughter, the more likely you've veered onto the path of negative self-talk. It may be time to check yourself, cautions U.K Therapy Guide.
"If nobody laughs at your jokes and you get concerned looks and an awkward silence instead, you should take a note of that and reflect on why your joke made people uncomfortable," the site notes. "This also applies when friends tell you that your self-deprecating jokes have gone too far and that you should think better of yourself."
