Bride Sends Bridesmaid A Wedding Cost Breakdown, Internet Is Horrified

A wedding costs money, and not just for the people organizing it. Depending on their vision, guests can end up spending a (small) fortune too.

Not so long ago, a woman was ecstatic to be asked to be a bridesmaid for her friend. It was the first time she had taken on the role, and she was happy to be part of the celebration.

However, as the big day approached and expenses kept piling up, she realized the whole thing might end up costing more than she could comfortably afford.

So she broke down the costs to the subreddit r/WeddingsUnder10k—an online community where members exchange tips and strategies for planning weddings on a budget—and asked whether it’s normal to go into debt just to be a part of the bridal party.

“The cost of weddings seems to go up every year and that includes the cost incurred with being a bridesmaid,” says Amanda Connaughton, a Savvy Ladies Junior Board Member, Certified Financial Planner, volunteer on the Savvy Ladies Helpline, and recent bride herself.

“Just like in marriage, many financial issues that occur can be solved or avoided with simple communication. Getting on the same page and understanding expectations makes sure that everyone knows what they are agreeing to and can lessen the stress.”

Typically, bridesmaids and groomsmen should expect to pay for certain expenses if they say yes to joining the wedding party.

First, they are expected to attend the bridal shower and bring a gift. In some cases, the maid of honor and bridal party will plan the wedding shower and help cover the costs; however, it is now more often covered by the family.

Next comes the biggest expense—the bachelorette party. The cost of a bachelorette party can vary depending on the location, the need for travel, accommodations, and planned activities. While this celebration can only be one night, many bachelorettes are destination events that can last multiple days.

For the wedding itself, the bridal party is usually expected to cover the costs of travel and accommodations, which, again, can vary dramatically depending on the location of the event. Then comes the attire. While many brides are leaning into the trend of having their wedding party choose their own look within a color palette, the cost of the outfit is considered the bridesmaid’s or groomsman’s responsibility and can drain the wallet, too.

While the couple will cover the costs of the bridesmaid’s bouquets, it isn’t always guaranteed they will pay for their professional hair and makeup as well, which for our Redditor cost over $200.

“Of course, you want to be by the bride's side on their big day—given that they have asked you to be in the wedding party, you probably have a special relationship,” adds Connaughton. “But, if you truly cannot afford to be a bridesmaid without it being a detriment to your financial situation, think about if you are really doing the best thing.”

While it might sting at first, the expert says you are putting the bride and her special day first by being honest about this from the start.

Not only should you communicate with the bride, but you should also be open with the other wedding party members about what is feasible within your budget. It’s likely certain activities might be too expensive for multiple members of your group, so opening up a dialogue is key while everything is still in the planning phase.

“Just as all bridesmaids should have a helping hand in the pre-wedding festivities, they should have a say in the budget for the events involved,” notes Connaughton. “Often the wedding party doesn’t want to involve the bride in the budget of these things, and that can be fine if everyone expected to contribute is actually on board.”

On the flip side, the bride should be understanding and flexible with her wedding party.

Connaughton also advises brides to make adjustments if their pricey plans might leave out some of their closest circle. “What is more important? Splurging on an expensive bachelorette trip or making sure your favorite people can be in attendance? If additional expenses pop up (and we know they always do), try to discuss these with your bridesmaids before making anything official,” she says. “No one wants to get surprised with a big expense and feel backed into a corner. If it isn't necessary for everyone to be a part of this event, consider giving some bridesmaids an out or alternative way of being involved.”