It’s probably one of the worst feelings being rejected and neglected by your parent once they find a new romantic partner. It may seem that we are the most important to them, however it can very easily shift once the wrong person comes into their life. While being not the priority for our parent may hurt, being kicked out and left homeless is another thing.
About that, one Reddit user shared his heartbreaking story explaining that right after graduation, he was kicked out of his home by his mom and her boyfriend and ended up being homeless. However, once he got a little stability in his life, he was asked to come back home and take care of his sick mom.
More info: Reddit
Being kicked out of the house as a teen usually leaves quite a long-lasting impact on the person
Image credits: Adam Borkowski (not the actual photo)
This man shared that he had a good relationship with his mom, however once her boyfriend moved in, everything drastically changed for the worse
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
He added that the mom’s boyfriend insisted she charged rent while he was still in school, and he would also go to the teen's room and go through his stuff
Image credits: Tomáš Gal (not the actual photo)
Finally, the day after graduation, his mom and her boyfriend told him that he’s an adult and he had to move out, thus he ended sleeping on friends’ couches and even outside
Image credits: u/Last_Astronaut_6032
However, the man saved up and finally got his own place when he got a call from the mom’s boyfriend saying she had a stroke and he needs to come back and take care of her
One Reddit user recently shared his personal story asking for community members’ insights. He pondered if he was indeed being a jerk for refusing to go back home to take care of his sick mom after she and her boyfriend kicked him out after his high school graduation. The post received over 8.6K upvotes and almost 500 comments.
The original poster (OP) shared that he always had a good relationship with his mom, however when her boyfriend moved in with them everything drastically changed. He convinced OP’s mom to start charging him rent, would go to OP’s room, look through his stuff, but the mom would always take her boyfriend’s side. Well, this even reached the highest point - OP was kicked out the day after graduation because he was an ‘adult’.
He opened up by sharing that he didn’t have enough money for his own place so would survive by sleeping on friends’ couches as much as he could but also had to sleep outside a few times. Luckily, he managed to get a second job and got his own home. Surprisingly, he got a call from his mom’s boyfriend saying that she had a stroke and he needs to come back and take care of her and he simply refused.
The community members gave the man ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and felt sorry for him. “I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I just want to chime in and say, from a 54-year-old mom of two, it's disgraceful that your mother treated you that way; I'd never do that to my kids,” one user wrote. “NTA. Your mom's boyfriend is just trying to dump the responsibility of taking care of her on you. Your response was perfect. Block him if you have to,” another added.
Image credits: Shazaf Zafar (not the actual photo)
“Compared to infants and children, young adults are less dependent on their caregivers. They're beginning to explore life-potential careers and romantic partners,” shared Hanan Parvez, who is the founder of PsychMechanics and an author, with Bored Panda. He added that young adults are particularly sensitive to having their freedoms restricted and privacy invaded.
“Unstable housing and familial conflict always affect a person's mental health negatively, regardless of age,” he emphasized. “It's just that it hurts less as one gets older. But it hurts nonetheless. It can result in feeling unsafe, unseen, and unheard. It can put one into 'survival mode' where they prioritize their career over everything else.”
Speaking about the impact on a child when a parent prioritizes their partner - “A child is always in competition with other family members for a parent's love, attention, and care.”
Parvez pointed out by saying that if those needs are not met or diverted to someone else, the child can become resentful of the neglectful parent. “Since all relationships are based on reciprocity, if you don't give, you don't get.” With that being said - the child is unlikely to help the parent who wasn't there for them when they needed help.
Finally, speaking about psychological mechanisms that may contribute to a parent's tendency to prioritize their romantic partner's needs and desires over their children, Parvez emphasized that it’s unusual for a parent to prioritize their romantic partner over their child.
“Usually, the reverse happens. After one has found a stable partner and had children with them, most of the effort gets diverted to childcare,” he noted. “It makes sense because, ultimately, what matters from an evolutionary standpoint is the reproductive success of children.”
However, the expert pointed out that in rare cases, the opposite might happen. “For instance, when a parent breaks up with their partner and finds a new romantic partner. In this case, the parent is motivated to pursue starting a family with the new partner.”
Parvez added that any child they might have had from their previous relationship gets seen as the 'other child' from that 'other partner'. “This can lead to the parent prioritizing the needs of their new partner and the kids they have or will have with them over those of their prior children.”
But what is your take on this situation? Was the author right in not coming back home? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors supported the man and felt sorry that he had to go through it all
