30 People Share What Made Them Notice Their Friends Have A Bad Marriage

The fact of the matter is that even people in happy long-term relationships argue from time to time. The difference is how they do it. Confrontation isn’t something that you should shy away from, so long as you do it in a healthy, respectful way. For one, you should go into arguments with a clear goal, all the while remembering that you and your partner are a team.

Your aim shouldn’t be to ‘attack’ your partner for whatever behavior you dislike. Nor should you try to show them how they’re incredibly wrong while you’re totally in the right. You should strive to explain to them how their behavior makes you feel and then propose a compromise moving forward. What you should definitely not do is bring up everything that they’ve done wrong in the past.

Meanwhile, it’s also important to actively listen to their take on things. You really can’t understate the importance of having someone know that they’re heard and their opinion is respected.

Boundaries are essential for all relationships, whether they’re romantic, familial, work-related, or anything else. Without them, you might end up putting your personal emotional needs on the back burner. 

‘Verywell Mind’ stresses the fact that boundaries are akin to setting clear expectations. And clarity makes life far easier for everyone involved. Some simple examples of healthy boundaries include respecting each other enough to not yell during arguments or giving each other some space and private time.

After all, even people in relationships are still individuals with their own passions and dreams. Just because someone wants to go on a solo hike in the woods or to play ping-pong with their college buddies does not mean that they don’t love you.

As ‘Brides’ points out, if you feel contempt for your partner or if they make you feel bad about yourself, clearly, something has gone very wrong. It’s vital to see your partner in a nuanced way and to recognize their strengths, even if they have plenty of weaknesses that bug you.

“Couples that show contempt for one another consistently have a low likelihood of successfully repairing their relationship, unless they can begin to recognize it and change the pattern,” marriage therapist Virginia Williamson explains.

The author of the thread revealed to Bored Panda that they know several couples in real life who constantly post how wonderful their spouses are, online. However, around the OP, they constantly bicker.

“I wanted to know if other people considered excessive posts praising a spouse to be sus/a sign of concealing an unhappy marriage too, and I was satisfied with the feedback. Glad I’m not the only one skeptical of people overcompensating on social media,” u/AnitaDickenme123 opened up to us why turned to the r/AskReddit community in the first place.

In the redditor’s opinion, other internet users enjoyed the topic because it gave them the opportunity to vent and joke about their experiences with unhappy relationships. “I enjoyed reading their input,” the author said.

We were curious to get the OP’s thoughts on the signs of a healthy romantic relationship. From their perspective, two things are vital here: respect and trust.

“I think trust is the most important aspect of a relationship. Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose in an instant. Trust means you aren’t blowing up your partner’s phone when they go out with friends, you don’t feel the need to track their location, go through their phone, or be with them 24/7. They can still be their own person AND your partner,” u/AnitaDickenme123 said. 

Another important factor in healthy relationships is companionship “where you can clearly see two people getting along and truly enjoying each other’s company.” However, the OP noted that couples need to steer clear of codependence and control. 

Bored Panda also asked the author of the thread for their personal thoughts on how people can broach uncomfortable topics about their partner’s behavior which they dislike. Proper communication takes the front stage here.

“My advice for people wanting to let their partner know something about the relationship is bothering them would be to communicate effectively. Unfortunately, effective communication is a skill that a lot of people lack. But I would advise them to sit down together, calmly approach the issue, and let them explain why the behavior hurt them and find a solution to the issue.”

According to the OP, mutual respect should be expected in any healthy relationship. Simply put, if you care about someone, you should respect them.

“Avoid making passive-aggressive jabs or demeaning and insulting comments to your partner. That just hurts feelings, causes people to shut down, and causes them to be defensive. You will know your relationship is healthy if your partner respects the fact that some action they did hurt you and agrees to work towards finding a solution that is satisfactory to you both.”