I've written several cat-related posts in the last few days, so it's no surprise that another "feline" analogy is coming up in my mind. You know how it is - when a cat insistently demands to be let into the room, you open the door - and it sits there and doesn't even think about coming in. And as soon as you close the door again - it starts meowing demandingly over and over.
Yes, this behavior is typical of cats, but, as it turns out, some people do something similar as well. You don't believe me? Then voila - this story from the user u/Important-Window-715, whose sister-in-law once behaved in a completely similar way at her niece’s birthday party.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently threw a party for his daughter's birthday and invited the sister-in-law with her daughters too
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The main problem was that this lady could be called unreliable at best, so the man tried to make her RSVP in advance
Image credits: Important-Window-715
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The first conversation took place a few months prior to the party, then emails and texts followed - but to no avail
Image credits: Important-Window-715
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Finally, the man crossed them all off the guest list and booked the tickets and catering without them
Image credits: Important-Window-715
And then the sister-in-law showed up with her daughters - but the author simply asked the security to eject them
So, the Original Poster (OP) has a 16-year-old daughter, who recently had a birthday party, and it included a private tour of a place she had long dreamed of going to. And the parents rented out a room to have a catered dinner too.
Needless to say, the author needed to know the number of guests in advance, to buy everyone entrance tickets, and to plan the exact amount of food for the caterers. Our hero did everything in advance, contacting all the guests. Well, almost all the guests...
Enter the author's SIL, who, as our hero notes, is an extremely unreliable person. At best, unreliable. The SIL has a long-standing conflict with the author's wife, but her two daughters are longtime friends of their child, so the man decided to take matters into his own hands.
A few months before the birthday, the OP had a detailed 20-minute phone conversation with the SIL, during which he explained the situation in detail, and asked for an RSVP beforehand. For both her and her daughters. Then, there were two more emails and three texts with reminders, but both the SIL and the nieces just blatantly ghosted him.
Anyway, when it came time to buy the tickets and order the catering, our hero simply said to himself: "Screw it!" and crossed all three off the guest list. And now fast forward to the party - and guess who showed up unexpectedly? That's right, the sister-in-law and her offspring!
But then the man decided that the neglect should be punished, and simply told the security not to let them in without a ticket. And so it happened, and all three were forced to go home. True, then a terrible scandal broke out, during which only the wife sided with the OP, and now even his own daughter holds a grudge against him.
So the original poster decided to find out the opinion of people online - how right did he act in this particular situation?
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Some people actually try to weaponize their own incompetence, thereby creating a lot of problems for others," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "And then, consciously or not, they act similarly in a variety of situations. Taking any possible consequences as an offense."
"In any case, this woman's actions could not only cause extra trouble for the party organizers, but also actually put them under additional expenses, because they would have to re-plan their budget. And doing it at the last moment is almost always more expensive."
"And if such a reaction happens once - it's a mishap, two or three times - it's also, perhaps, a mishap, but several times in a row - this is already an unpleasant trend. And the only person, in fact, at whom the birthday girl's friends should be offended here is their own mother," Irina concludes.
The overwhelming majority of commenters also sided with the author, arguing that it was his SIL that was to blame for the current situation, and only her. "Incredibly poor behavior - if anything she owes you and your daughter an apology for causing a ridiculous drama," someone aptly wrote. “Actions have consequences,” another person added wisely.
And the responders also advised the author that next time his now fully grown daughter should throw her birthday party and invite the guests herself. “Next time enlist your daughter who's 16 to make sure her cousins are attending instead of you or your wife. At 16 she can make sure all her friends are actually coming to the party,” one of the commenters mused. And do you, our dear readers, agree with this point of view?
Most people in the comments sided with the author massively, claiming that it was the SIL who owed an apology to the man
