An old tale tells how the royal barber, having learned that the monarch had donkey ears, swore to keep this secret to himself, but he was so tempted to tell someone that he couldn't resist. He told a reed on the riverbank, and the reed was later made into a pipe, which began singing this secret to everyone...
What does this tell us? That's right – it tells us that any secret eventually comes to light, especially if you entrust it to an improper person. So this is what happened to u/julie-east, the narrator of our story today. And she, despite keeping the secret herself, was then accused of being the bad guy anyway.
More info: Reddit
People love to gossip, and it's one of the most popular guilty pleasures – but sometimes, after getting exposed, they try to put the blame on others
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has a sister-in-law who holds a political office in their municipality, and recently she shared some confidential information with her
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author was expected to keep the secret until the official announcement, and the only other person to know it, except herself, was her mother-in-law
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the author heard this secret from her boyfriend soon after, and he opened up that he learned it from his mom
Image credits: julie-east
The woman then exposed both of them to the sister-in-law, and unexpectedly took heat from them for "snitching"
The original poster (OP) says that her sister-in-law holds a political office in the municipality where they all live. And then, recently, a woman shared confidential information with the author that was supposed to remain top secret for the next few days. In other words, something like announcing a bid for the county council soon.
Our heroine kept her promise to keep everything secret until the official announcement, and the second person to know this secret was the woman's mother. That is, the author's mother-in-law. A rather toxic and narcissistic lady, in the OP's own words. No one else knew this secret except the two of them – but that number soon changed.
Some time later, our heroine's boyfriend confided in her, admitting that his mother had confided in him. Our heroine, noting that the man she lives with is also quite narcissistic, decided to expose them both to the SIL. Drama erupted when the mother first tried to deny everything, and then found nothing better to do than blame the OP.
A couple of days later, everything returned to normal, as if nothing had happened. This was true for both the OP’s boyfriend and her mother-in-law. But the woman had already learned from experience and knew that in this family, people often preferred to "resolve the problems" by simply sweeping them under the rug. And she was well aware that at the first opportunity, this case would be brought up again...
Image credits: creativaimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Let's start with the fact that people love to gossip. Even if it's the smallest secret, possessing this secret still elevates a person in their own eyes. And by sharing this secret, even without permission, a person feels themselves more influential for a while," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here.
According to the expert, people often tend to underestimate the consequences of their words and actions. They believe that by telling only one person and making them swear not to tell anyone else, they're rationalizing their actions in their own eyes. But, of course, it doesn't work that way.
"The problem is that by breaking their promise and telling another person, the secret-keeper de facto 'desacralizes' the secret. Because the other person also understands perfectly well that if the promise is broken, the subconscious restraint against disclosure isn't as strong. This creates a vicious circle that's so difficult to break," Irina Matveeva sums up.
Most people in the comments, of course, supported our heroine, noting that she did absolutely the right thing. And this story actually revealed the woman's boyfriend's and mother-in-law's true colors. However, to what extent the responders themselves are inclined to comply with these rules in real life is another question... So what do you, our dear readers, think about this situation?
Most commenters claimed that the author was being reasonable here, and that her boyfriend and his mom actually showed their true colors
