When I was a kid, I didn’t understand why my mom or grandma were so obsessed with all sorts of old trinkets and souvenirs. What was wrong with them, I thought? And I was surprised every time when my mother, taking away another old decoration from little me, said: “This is a memory!” Well, now, decades later, I am ready to understand this.
Every souvenir, like a fridge magnet that you brought back from a long trip many years ago, is not just a painted piece of plastic or ceramic. This is a memory of moments when you felt good. And when other people's kids take these materialized memories without any permission - you lose it. As it happened, for example, with the user u/WorthPickle5161, the author of our story today.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and her husband are childfree and prefer having cats at home
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
The man's sister, however, has 2 kids, 7 and 9 years old, and recently they came to visit the couple and stayed at their house for a week
Image credits: u/WorthPickle5161
The spouses have a whole bookcase of various sentimental keepsakes in the living room. Nothing expensive, just memorable
Image credits: 祝 鹤槐 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/WorthPickle5161
Yet the kids took 2 souvenirs soon after - and tried to deny everything at first
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/WorthPickle5161
While talking to the kids' mom, the author claimed that such children are the reason they prefer to stay chidfree
So, the Original Poster (OP) and her husband are both in their late 30s, and they long ago chose to stay childfree. As it often happens, representatives of the older generation weren't happy with such a decision, but over time they came to terms with it. Moreover, the author’s SIL fully realized their dreams of grandkids.
Yes, the author's SIL has two children, 7 and 9 years old, and they recently came to visit the author for a whole week. Well, kids are always kids, so the original poster, anticipating all possible incidents, expected they won't touch any of her keepsakes.
The OP and her husband have a whole bookcase in the living room, full of all sorts of trinkets, which, nevertheless, have sentimental value for the spouses. It's not that they cost any money - just a memory. And the woman didn't want the kids to touch these souvenirs.
However, a couple of days later she discovered that two things were missing - her and her husband’s wedding flower in resin and a bracelet from the woman's middle school friend. The kids vowed that they did not touch anything, but then both items were found in their room. The kids then said they took them just to play because they "looked cool." And their mom told them it wasn't a big deal.
And here the original poster, according to her SIL, overstepped it. Returning the souvenirs to their place, the woman said that it was precisely because of such kids that she and her spouse preferred to be childfree. The mom, of course, was indignant and said the host ‘crossed a line.’ And our heroine simply believes that she told the truth, and nothing more.
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Well, there are basically two main problems with this situation - that the children de facto tried to steal the souvenirs, and the reaction of the original poster in a conversation with their mom. As for the first problem, experts say that everything can be easily corrected at an early age.
“With very young children, help them understand that stealing is wrong–that when you take something without asking or paying for it, it hurts someone else,” Dona Matthews Ph.D., a developmental psychologist from Canada, writes in her article at Psychology Today. “Talk about how you and they can make things right for the person or store they took something from.”
In any case, Dr. Matthews recommends refraining from lecturing and punishment, and best of all - to assess together the reasons for the theft and simply move on. As a matter of fact, that’s what our heroine actually did. But as for her conversation with the SIL - we'd better give the floor to the commenters on the original post.
Well, people in the comments assure the author that she did everything correctly, and that in any case she was in her home - unlike the guests. “Who cares if you said that? The bigger problem is that your guests stole from you, lied about it and then made excuses,” one of the commenters wrote. “Your SIL should be humiliated that her children did this and apologizing effusively. What you said or did is irrelevant to the big problem.”
Moreover, some commenters are completely sure that the kids stole the keepsakes with the tacit permission or approval of their mom - and they have their own reasons for this. “SIL jumped to ‘you can’t accuse my kids!’ She wasn’t surprised,” another person suspected. “I bet the kids asked mummy if it was okay and she gave them permission...” And what do you, our dear readers, think about this?
People in the comments claim that the author wasn't wrong, and the main problem is that the kids attempted to steal her belongings
