Families come in all forms, shapes and sizes, and the true beauty behind it is that people thrive to bring in as much growth, support and well, pretty much all of the nicest things in the world. The laws and cultural taboos vary throughout continents and countries: for this young man, Pablo Fracchia, in Argentina, the journey to create the family he has always dreamt about was not the easiest one. As the LGBTQ+ community was on the rise of fighting for their rights, Pablo, who aspired so much to become a father, decided not to give up and to make that wish come true.
His inspiring story of determination and perseverance to become a parent no matter the obstacles can hopefully empower others to strive for their dreams and wellbeing that create happiness and community. Bored Panda got in touch with Pablo to talk about his journey.
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This is a picture of Pablo on his first day as a father to the adopted girl, Mia, who lived in a hospital for a year
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
Pablo, a social worker from the never sleeping Buenos Aires, Argentina, who is an avid LGBTQ+ activist and a former Red Cross volunteer, always wanted to become a father. Now, as you might imagine, as he was growing up through volatile political and cultural changes in the '90s in South America, creating a family as a gay man was more than impossible. As a teenager, he already saw that there were two ways his story could pan out: carrying on being who he is, or giving up one of his dreams.
“I really enjoy working with communities and helping people in need, not only in a professional way, but also as a volunteer and an LGBTIQ+ activist. You could say that the idea of 'service' is something that covers every topic of my life.”
One of Pablo's biggest dreams was to be a father and being a single gay guy in Argentina does not make the process of adoption easier
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
As he started working with the LGBTQ+ Federation of Argentina and joined the fight for human rights to establish marriage equality, he noticed a flash of hope. The change of marriage policies meant that he could slowly awaken the dream of having a kid. In 2017, Pablo had to go through therapy and a serious rethinking process and he decided to go after his ambition. Leaving the fear behind, Pablo filled out the necessary papers and started the adoption process.
Leaving fear and prejudices behind, Pablo filled out the paperwork and armed himself with patience, facing the long and uncertain process of adoption in Argentina
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
“Right now we are one of the most progressive countries in the world when it comes to LGBTQ+ and women's rights, especially in the last 10 years, since we passed marriage equality, gender identity, abortion, and trans people's protection laws. That was only a dream when I was a child, in a very Catholic country (hi Pope!), where I remember seeing the archbishop on the national public TV channel saying that every gay man should go and live on an island and stay away from good working people, and also the effects from the dictatorship (when it came to police raids on LGBTQ+ places) were a regular thing even after democracy was reestablished. So there is an absolute distance between my childhood and the current situation.”
Mia, at the time of adoption, had already spent one year living in a hospital
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
In 2019, after two years of waiting, he got a phone call from a family judge who told him about a little girl who, at the time, was one year and 10 months old and who was living in a hospital. The girl called Mia had a gastrointestinal condition and needed serious medical attention. Her biological family couldn’t provide it and the family court took the decision to send Mia to a sort of foster home/hospital—an institution for kids with health issues.
After receiving the phone call with the green light for adoption, Pablo was on his way to meet Mia the following day
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
The success of adoption heavily depends on the kindness, tolerance and understanding of the judge, and well, Pablo got lucky
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
The process of adoption in Argentina is not difficult, but definitely takes a long time, according to Pablo. In his province, the appointed family judge chooses the parent and is the one deciding whether the person can adopt the child. The success of adoption heavily depends in the kindness, tolerance, and understanding of the judge who would agree that a gay single man is a good choice to be a parent for a child.
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
It turned out that judge was objective enough to pick Pablo's application, regardless of all the outdated preconceptions
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
Besides Pablo, there were 4 couples who were shortlisted for the evaluation of adopting Mia. The young man considered his chances of being chosen to be a foster parent as quite slim. It turned out that judge was objective enough to pick Pablo regardless of all the typical prejudices.
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
The next day, Pablo was on his way to the hospital to meet little Mia. Pablo recalled the first time meeting the baby girl brought into the room by a nurse who handed her to him. After that, they started to play, and well, they have not left each other since. Pablo, however, had to give up his volunteering at the Red Cross and non-profit humanitarian missions he was involved in as they required too much time away from home. It was tough for him to leave the Red Cross as he spent most of his life volunteering and living by its principles. It was extremely hard, but worth the sacrifice for his dream of being a father coming true.
Pablo gave up his volunteering and work for humanitarian missions to dedicate as much time to his daughter as he can
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
“If I have to use two words to describe Mia, it would be 'resilience' and 'power.' This girl survived in every single possible way as she had a rough start in her health, with a lot of challenges and she fought and faced them alone at only months of age. And now she is a 100% healthy kid like everyone else,” shared Pablo.
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
Image credits: Pablo Fracchia
Pablo also highlighted how important it is to follow and fight for your dream, who you truly are, and what you stand for. "MEET OTHERS LIKE YOU. ORGANIZE. FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAM. The status quo can only be broken when we organize with people struggling with similar issues and start showing the injustices we live with to the public eye. It's still illegal to be gay in almost 70 countries. Some of them even include the death penalty. So hang in there and organize."
Let us know in the comments below your thoughts and experiences of adoption and whether this story gave you hope and determination to pursue your dream!