“I Have No Money”: Single Mom Receives $150 Bill, Becomes The “Bad Guy” When She Refuses To Pay

How the bill gets paid at the end of a meal is a good test of just how close your friends actually are. We tend to not think that a handful of dollars can actually end a relationship, but some people are willing to die on this hill.

TikToker user and single mom Remiandaryan shared her frustration at a friend who pressured her into covering a $150 group dinner bill, despite her purposefully ordering less all evening. Commenters sided with her, arguing that a group of adults should be able to pay their own dinner bills at the end of the day.

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It might seem a bit strange that, in the 21st century, a group of adults, ostensibly with kids and jobs, struggle so much with the idea that there will be a bill at the end of the evening. This has legitimately been true since before any of us were born, yet, as this story demonstrates, some folks seem to be incapable of planning their budget a few hours in advance.

“Don’t spend money you don’t have” has been basic, fundamental financial advice since time immemorial. One of the great parts of having friends is that they can, in a pinch, actually help you get around this rule. After all, friends pay for friends all the time. This is particularly true if someone in the group is making more money than the rest. It’s not uncommon to celebrate financial success by taking your friends and loved ones out for drinks or a meal.

This, perhaps, demonstrates that the people in this story are hardly friends. The “birthday girl” could perhaps argue that her friend (OP) should have helped with the bill. However, would a “real” friend ever put someone they were close to in this situation in the first place? Furthermore, a friend should perhaps have some understanding of the financial situation of others. It almost seems like these people hardly know each other.

What is even more strange, is the fact that this group of adults seems to have completely forgotten the norms and etiquette of dining out together in general. Generally, with birthdays, either everyone pays for the birthday boy or girl, or, the person, who invited everyone out, covers the bill for the whole table. Putting the entire bill on one guest is ridiculous unless they specifically requested to do so.

In the English-speaking world, everyone covering their own bill even has its own term, to go “Dutch.” This came from a negative, stereotypical belief that the Dutch were stingy, so to only cover your own bill could be seen as insulting in certain situations. While this phrase comes from the UK, it’s worth noting that the English, apparently, didn’t have the best reputation for generosity, for example, in Egypt, one might say that they will go “English style,” i.e. split the bill.

However, some researchers have noted that the prevalence of apps, such as Venmo, has shifted how people approach paying. Hading around cash was and still is a bit uncomfortable, plus many people simply don’t carry that much cash on hand. However, with an app, you can always text your dinner companions later for their part of the bill. Restaurants generally like this arrangement as well, as it makes payment easier and creates less work for the waitstaff.

In much of Europe, the bill isn’t split at the restaurant and either the group owes a person who covers it, or they pay them later. However, tourism does have its own effects, for example, in Italy, when people split the bill, they might say that they will “pagare alla romana,” or “to pay Roman-style.”

However, the issue here isn’t some cultural misunderstanding. Remiandaryan was the guest at a birthday dinner. Almost nowhere is there an expectation that a random guest will pick up the entire tab, particularly if they very purposefully ordered less? Hopefully, at least, this experience and the many supportive comments can serve as an eye-opener for the future.