Surrogacy is a major decision in any person’s life. Usually, when someone looks for surrogacy candidates, it’s because they are infertile and cannot get pregnant themselves. However, for others, the decision on whether or not to pay for the expensive process hinges on how pregnancy will affect their body.
Redditor u/Emotional-Dirt9177 recently went viral after opening up about how he called out his sister, who wanted his financial support to cover the costs of surrogacy because she wanted to stay slim. He then turned to the internet for their verdict on whether or not he handled things well. Scroll down for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Warning: this story may be incredibly triggering for some readers who have had a traumatic past.
Different people have different reasons for considering surrogacy
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One internet opened up online about finding out the real reason why his sibling was considering surrogacy candidates
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Image credits: Emotional-Dirt9177
The financial costs of surrogacy can be mind-boggling. It's not an easy decision to make even if you're well-off
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Surrogacy can be incredibly expensive. It’s definitely not something to be undertaken lightly. What this means is that you either have to have lots of savings, a well-paying job, incredible medical coverage, or the support of well-off sponsors to be able to afford a surrogate.
According to Investopedia, a surrogate can cost upwards of $100,000 in the United States. The costs will vary depending on where you live and the exact procedures that you want or need to be done.
For example, the Fertility Center of Las Vegas puts the cost of surrogacy between $110,000 to $170,000 while West Coast Surrogacy prices it between $190,000 and $230,000.
The surrogacy industry was worth $14 billion in 2022 and is expected to grow by a quarter each year from 2023 to 2032, according to Global Market Insights.
If someone is asking their family and friends for financial support, it only makes sense to be completely open and honest with them about the reasons why. Transparency is paramount. Without it, the foundation of trust they’ve built over the years can get wobbly.
Case in point, the author’s sister wasn’t entirely truthful with him about her intentions at the very beginning. “It turns out my sister is not infertile. She just doesn't want to get pregnant,” u/Emotional-Dirt9177 explained that his sibling didn’t want to carry her own child in order to keep her figure.
Healthy boundaries are very important when it comes to interacting with even the closest of family members
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Hearing something like this might make someone who’s dealing with fertility issues or a traumatic past feel resentful or even angry. While they’re looking for surrogates because they have few other choices to have a child, others feel like it’s a viable option “to stay thin.” And on someone else’s dime, no less!
It’s completely understandable that far from everyone would be happy to cover someone’s surrogacy costs when they can get pregnant without much issue. The only question is how to say ‘no’ and enforce those boundaries. How you say something matters just as much, if not more, than what you say.
According to the author, he doesn’t feel guilty about how he called out his sister. However, his wife believes that he could have handled the situation slightly more diplomatically. This is why he asked for the r/AITAH online community’s opinion in the first place.
The author’s story went viral, with 15k upvotes and 1.3k comments at the time of writing. Most readers were very supportive of the internet user and thought that he did the logical thing by refusing to splurge to satisfy his sibling’s whims.
What do you think about the entire situation, dear Pandas? What would you have done differently if you were in the author’s shoes? Would you ever support a loved one financially if you knew they wanted surrogacy to keep their figure, not due to fertility issues? Share your thoughts in the comments.
The author later answered a couple of people's questions about the context
Many readers were on his side. Here's their interpretation of the situation
However, some folks had slightly unpopular opinions. They thought that the author could have handled things very differently
