Recently, I have written many stories about people cheating on their partners. These lines from Adele’s “Cold Shoulder” song often pop up in my mind: You say it’s all in my head, And the things I think just don’t make sense, So where you been then?
I think she’s captured really well how such cheaters think they can gaslight their partners and get away with their toxic behavior. Even this guy thought he could “date” his fiancée’s sister and then play the victim when she found out, but life had other plans for him! Here’s what happened…
More info: Reddit
Infidelity mixed with gaslighting is a brutal combination that can destroy the victim's mental well-being
The poster felt that her fiancé was perfect, and thought nothing when his work trip to the UK, where her sister lived, was extended by 2 weeks
She had never introduced her sister to him, but when they met, the woman practically jumped on the guy, claiming they were dating
The shocked poster blocked the guy, but netizens urged her to have a conversation with him because of her history with her toxic sister
When the poster talked to her fiancé, he confessed that her sister had stalked and harassed him in the UK, and he was very distressed
The poster was beating herself up that she iced him out when he went through something so disturbing, and cut ties with her family, as he suggested
The couple decided to work on their relationship, take things slow, and get back together, but soon, she gave a shocking update
Apparently, he had not only dated others when they had separated, but the poster felt that he was actually cheating with her sister
The devastated poster dumped him in the end, but she was in a lot of pain and didn't know how to get over the long relationship
Today’s story is pretty heartbreaking as the original poster (OP) laments her broken engagement to her fiancé (John), a guy she had been with for 5 years. She felt that he was the perfect partner and didn’t really think much when he extended his work trip to the UK by 2 weeks. The plot thickened when her sister (Sarah), who worked in the UK, came home to celebrate their parents’ anniversary.
Well, she had never introduced John to Sarah, as she had a rocky relationship with her sister. However, Sarah kept talking about an amazing guy she started dating around the same time that John had been in the UK. Obviously, the OP was appalled. Her suspicions turned out to be true when he arrived at the party, and her sister basically jumped on him in front of everyone.
Of course, the author was pissed off, thinking that the two had an affair, but looking at her history with Sarah, netizens urged her to talk to John about it. She soon updated how terrible she felt after he confessed that he had been stalked by her sister when he was in the UK. The poster felt awful for icing him out when he faced something so troublesome, and they were working on their relationship.
The OP also cut ties with her family upon his saying, but soon, the story took a shocking turn. Not only did the guy go on dates with his coworkers when they had taken a break, but she also suspected that John was actually cheating on her with Sarah. While our lady was absolutely devastated, she still loved him and sought advice online about moving on from a long-term relationship.
The poster’s rage after finding out about the affair and icing out John was understandable. After all, experts highlight that cheating can cause significant emotional pain. While the initial feeling of betrayal is common, there are often more complex psychological consequences for the person who was cheated on that may resemble symptoms of post-infidelity stress or cheating trauma.
Despite John’s multiple red flags on display, he was able to manipulate the author into thinking she was at fault for blocking him out. Studies explain that “a betrayed partner’s willingness to believe even the most outrageous lies (and to internalize blame for things that are clearly not their fault) stems from the fact that gaslighting starts slowly and builds gradually over time.”
Moreover, researchers emphasize that gaslighting or infidelity, each on its own, can devastate the safety and trust of any relationship, but together, they form an especially dangerous mix. After all, the victims start to question their own sanity, and that’s exactly what the cheaters need to shift the blame. It’s really cruel how humans can play such destructive mind games to shirk responsibility.
At least the author ended up dumping him, even if it came at the cost of so much pain. Netizens did some sleuthing and found out in her comments on other posts that she had a boyfriend. Well, just like them, I really hope it’s not John, and she finally found a good partner. What are your thoughts about the story? Feel free to type away in the comments section!
Netizens were astounded that the poster ignored so many of the guy's red flags, but they were glad she dumped him eventually
