Divorces, separations, and breakups can and do happen. It’s probably not something any of us plan for, but it’s a part of life: sometimes, people grow apart, or they realize that they’re incompatible. But when someone gets divorced, you probably don’t expect them to remarry the very same person, just a little bit later!
Internet user u/Pollock701 went viral after turning to the AITA online community for some help. He wanted everyone’s advice after deciding not to get his sister a second wedding gift because he’d already splurged so much on the first one. Scroll down for the story in full, as well as the internet’s reactions. Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral story, and he was kind enough to shed some light on what happened and why he thinks his sister reacted the way that she did. Read on for our full interview with u/Pollock701.
It might come as a surprise when someone you know gets divorced, only to marry that same person again
Image credits:Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
One internet user decided not to get his sister another wedding gift after she announced that she's remarrying her ex
Image credits:wirestock (not the actual photo)
The author later shared an updated about how the happy couple reacted
Image credits: Pollock701
"Since then, I haven't really had much contact with my sister, but I am fine with it"
The author told us that he was uninvited from his sister's wedding when he confessed that he wouldn't be getting her another gift. "From what I have heard, the wedding was OK, but there was apparently much talking about my actions and that I refused to buy another gift for them," u/Pollock701 told Bored Panda.
Gossip spread like wildfire at the event. "It was pretty funny to hear all the different stories that were told at the wedding. Especially the one from my sister’s husband who personally uninvited me who completely turned the story around and told the guests that I wanted my gift from the first wedding back before I gave them a new gift."
However, the author opened up to us that he doesn't really care about the gossip. He told everyone who asked him about it the truth, and they believed him, instead of his brother-in-law. "Since then, I haven't really had much contact with my sister, but I am fine with it. If she wants to meet or just talk, I’m open to it, but I don’t think that will happen in the near future," he shared.
The author of the story told us that he had no idea why his sister and her husband reacted the way that they did. "My sister was always a little bit special when it came to her behavior, but she never made such a drama out of a small thing. I still have the theory that they just pretended to have broken up because they wanted new stuff. That would at least perfectly fit in the picture I have of my sister from growing up with her. It would definitely shock me if this theory came out to be true, but it would be funny to have guessed it right," he said.
We were curious to see what advice u/Pollock701 would give guests struggling with their wedding gift ideas. According to him, if the marrying couple doesn't publicly share a list of gifts they'd ideally like to get, you could always go for the safe bet: giving them a card with some money inside of it. "That should be between $100 or $500 depending on how well you know them," he suggested.
"A wedding is normally something that occurs only once in a lifetime and it’s not the right time to be stingy. I learned the hard way you probably shouldn’t announce your presents or non-presents. That can lead to a lot of trouble."
If you think that cold hard cash isn't all that personal, you could also get them something fun and funky. The author said that one idea is to buy them an invitation to an amusement park or something similar. "Those childish activities always bring joy to the person who receives it."
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
There are lots of different reasons why people decide to get divorced
Richard Gunderman, MD, Ph.D., writes in Psychology Today that roughly 50% of first marriages end in divorce. 80% of divorced people marry again.
However, the rate of divorce increases with every time a person remarries. For instance, the divorce rate for second marriages rises to 60%, while the average length of the union drops down to 8 years. Meanwhile, third marriages have a 73% chance of ending in divorce.
According to a survey of divorcees conducted by Forbes Advisor, the main reasons why people decide to get married include financial security (42% of respondents mentioned this), companionship (39%), love (36%), formally making a commitment (34%), and to start a family (also 34%).
Other main reasons for marriage include convenience (28%), medical insurance (25%), legal reasons (16%), as well as pressure from society and one’s family (7%).
Meanwhile, among the top reasons for divorce, you’ll find a lack of family support (mentioned by 43% of respondents), infidelity (34%), a lack of compatibility and intimacy, as well as too much arguing (all 31%).
Some other reasons why the marriage fell apart included financial stress (24%), a lack of commitment (23%), parenting differences (20%), marrying too young (10%), and having opposing values (6%). Substance abuse and physical and/or emotional violence accounted for 3% of divorces, according to the study, while the desire to pursue different lifestyles was an important factor in just 1% of all cases.
Image credits:Wijdan Mq (not the actual photo)
The type of gift you go for should be based on your budget and finances, not how fancy the wedding is
Forbes explains that there’s a greater chance that a marriage will fail if someone is motivated to marry by a specific desire and it then goes unfulfilled.
Meanwhile, people who marry for financial security might find that they’re not actually compatible with their partners. Moreover, folks who feel pressured to enter a union are more likely to be unfaithful.
Figuring out what gift you should give the happy couple, and how much it should cost, is no easy feat. It helps if the couple has a wedding registry or if you talk to them about what they might like. However, at the end of the day, it’s not like everyone has an unlimited budget. You need to be honest with yourself about how much you’re comfortable spending.
“The magic number for how much you should spend on a wedding gift depends on what fits your budget. You should give a gift that's worth what you can afford to give comfortably,” Emily Post, from The Emily Post Institute, told The Knot.
“Guests shouldn't even know how much their seat costs at a wedding. Your gift amount also does not have to be influenced by what the couple may have given you as a wedding gift either." And lastly, the formality of the event shouldn't impact how much to give for a wedding gift.
In Post’s opinion, your gift shouldn’t be influenced by things such as the overall cost of the wedding ceremony and reception. “Just because you get invited to a formal event doesn't mean you can suddenly afford a gift at a higher price range. It always goes back to what you can comfortably afford.”
A lot of internet users wanted to pitch in with their opinions. Here's what some of them told the author
