Sibling relationships can either be the strongest of all one’s connections, or they can sometimes be filled with strife. Difficult family bonds like this often occur because one person holds all the power and feels like they can get away with anything bad that they do.
This is exactly what was happening in one family where the younger sister was constantly bullied and controlled by her elder sibling. She basically had to put her wants aside to be a babysitter for her sister for years. She soon reached her breaking point.
More info: Reddit
It is difficult to deal with loved ones who are bullies because people often tend to excuse their behavior simply because they are family
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The poster shared that her 28-year-old sister had been asking her to babysit her two kids for the last five years
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Regardless of what the poster was doing, her elder sister expected her to put everything aside and be her babysitter
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The poster was hardly paid any money for her babysitting, and when she said she would quit, her sister threatened to take her own life
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The teen has missed out on her first year of college and struggled with her mental health all because of her sister’s behavior, which is why she wants to stop babysitting
The OP has been tasked with babysitting her nephews since she was just 13 years old. Her sister didn’t ask her for help, she just expected her younger sibling to do it without question. That’s why the first time the poster watched her nephew, she had to do it for the entire summer without any pay.
Usually, people entrust their family members with the responsibility of caregiving once in a while. Grandparents or siblings might babysit just to offer the parents some time off or personal space. The problem occurs when this becomes a demanding or full-time responsibility without any end in sight. That’s when it’s important to set boundaries or else it might end up causing a lot of resentment.
The OP had to take up online schooling and care for her nephew 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. She couldn’t keep up with her education, her friendships, or extracurricular activities. This was all because her sister had extreme control over her life and was threatening her constantly so that she’d keep being a caregiver.
When loved ones make physical or emotional threats as a way to coerce someone to get their way, it’s a severe sign of dysfunction. These kinds of intense situations don’t just get resolved on their own, because the oppressor holds a lot of power. The best way to take back control is to start by putting a bit of distance between yourself and that person.
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The OP did decide to eventually quit this forced babysitting, but when she voiced that to her sister, the other woman threatened to end her life. She followed up with threats, name-calling, and berating, which slowly affected the OP’s mental well-being. All of this was clearly to keep her under control and to stop her from leaving.
These kinds of severe manipulation tactics can be very difficult to deal with. Experts say that it’s important to confront the person about their actions and set firm boundaries with them. If someone threatens to end their life as a form of manipulation, you can inform the emergency services, and with empathy let the person know that you won’t give in to their demands.
Many netizens were also concerned as to why the teen’s parents weren’t getting involved in the situation. She mentioned that her mother was dealing with a lot of other things, which is why she had been absent through the whole process. It’s only when she got clued into the situation that she felt enraged about how her eldest daughter had been behaving.
Unfortunately, the OP did not end up getting a solution to her problems, but she clarified that she doesn’t think of her sister as a bad mother, just a bad sibling. It seems like she still cares a lot about her sister, but just wants to have more freedom to live her own life.
What do you think she could do to free herself from the intense control that her sibling has over her? Do share your thoughts down below.
Folks told the teen to be firm with her boundaries and to leave immediately so that her sister can’t keep manipulating her
