Where is the fine line between being helpful and being overly intrusive? What is the difference between a shoulder to cry on and a keeper of dangerous private secrets? Why do we sometimes push away people whom until recently we considered our closest friends? Each person has their own answers to these questions and, more importantly, their own ways to get there.
The story that we want to tell you today began about two years ago, its culmination took place quite recently, and it is certainly very far from the denouement. The author of the original post, user u/SnooMuffins6689, just wanted to get it off their chest, but it turned out to be a real discussion.
The author of the post once was incredibly close with their sister and supported her in joy and sorrow
Image credits: r deangelo (not the actual photo)
When the woman faced serious health issues, the author was there to help and support her as well
Image credits: u/SnooMuffins6689
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/SnooMuffins6689
However, after recovery, the woman tried to distance herself from the author and even blocked them literally everywhere
Image credits: Jenny Uhling (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/SnooMuffins6689
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the woman once cheated on her fiance and got some infection which caused these health problems
Image credits: u/SnooMuffins6689
The author kept everything in secret, yet they were the only relative not invited to her wedding
So, about two years ago, the Original Poster's (OP) sister faced some health issues. Serious issues, to be honest - according to the author of the post, there was even a threat of cancer, but the doctors handled everything on time. Be that as it may, the woman had to go through tough times - and the OP became a real support for her.
The OP says that in those days, they were very close, and there was not a day that the sister did not turn to them for words of support. The author of the post always tried to be there, to encourage in word and deed, and, most importantly, not to tell anyone about the cause of these very health problems.
The thing is, as the OP goes on, that their sister once cheated on her fiance, and as a result of this she caught an infection which later caused the health issues described. Over time, however, the woman overcame this - however, in the process of recovery, she gradually moved away from her recent shoulder to cry on. She distanced herself to such an extent that when the OP wrote to her in the hospital literally begging her to talk about her state of health. They not only received no answer, but were even blocked on literally all platforms.
Moreover, when the upcoming wedding of the Original Poster's sister with the same fiance was recently announced, they were the only one of the relatives who did not receive an invitation. Even the bride's parents, with whom she had almost cut all ties for a long time, were invited. Everyone except the OP. And when one of the relatives asked why the author fell out of favor with the bride-to-be, they received the answer that 'they crossed a boundary'. Just like this - and nothing more. It's only natural that the original poster felt devastated over all this.
Image credits: onivoL (not the actual photo)
“It seems to me that there are enough blank spots in this story, some missing details, that the puzzle of the situation is not completely formed,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment on this tale. "On the other hand, if this relative turned out to be in fact the only witness and keeper of a secret that the bride-to-be was ashamed of, then it is not surprising that she instinctively tried to distance herself from them. Especially at a wedding with a man, to whom her infidelity started this whole situation."
“In addition, there is a certain thin line between helping and sympathy when you are asked for it, and trying to provide this sympathy in the wrong situation. And in fact, only a few people are able to feel where this line actually lies, and how not to cross it. Otherwise, you can really lose good relationships that have developed over the years, very quickly. A joint trouble can actually not only unite people, but also separate them - and sometimes this happens much easier and faster," Irina Matveeva states.
Most of the people in the comments also don't really get what boundary exactly the Original Poster crossed in their sister's mind, and why she had such a strong sense of rejection towards them. In any case, according to commenters, now the best thing is to just let go of the situation. "I think it's best to give your sister space and live your life to the fullest for now," one of the people in the comments reasonably suggests.
However, it often happens that people who were once incredibly close to each other end up cutting all ties and cannot even see each other without painful feelings. For example, as it happened in this tale about two sisters, one of whom, after having a miscarriage, also found out that her husband cheated on her with her own sister. And maybe in this selection of ours, where you can find out the signs by which you can determine that your friend or loved one is in fact a jerk. In addition, we're also looking forward to your own comments on this particular story.
Most of the commenters just advised the author to let it go and simply go on living their own life
