“I Was Homeless And Single In Less Than A Day”: Lies Ruin Woman’s Life Until Sister Comes Clean

It’s common for family members to fight sometimes. Getting into an argument with one's parents or starting a duel with a sibling has likely happened in most households. But some fights are more difficult to recover from than others, if at all possible.

Redditor u/Ok_Independence_579 recently told the ‘Off My Chest’ community about how she ghosted her family and fiancé after what her sister did. The sibling got the OP into a situation which resulted in destroyed family relationships and a broken engagement, turning her entire world upside down.

Family is one of the major support systems people have in their lives; more than half of Americans say it is the most important thing in life in general. Even with an occasional fight, which arguably no household is able to avoid, blood is thicker than water, which is why cutting family from your life is undeniably a difficult thing to do.

“We become attached to family members early in life, and separation from them is often very distressing,” sociologist and gerontologist Karl A. Pillemer told the Greeley Tribune. Be that as it may, the OP had her reasons to do it. Due to her sister’s lies, the family—as well as her fiancé—turned away from her, altering life as she knew it irrevocably.

According to Pillemer's studies, roughly 25% of US adults have become estranged from their families. He suggested the three main reasons for that are adverse childhood experiences, differences in values and expectations, and situational factors, the latter likely being what caused the rift between the OP and her family. “Sometimes, a new wife or husband will deliberately alienate a person from his or her family,” Pillemer told the Greeley Tribune, providing an example of situational reasons for becoming estranged.

Pillemer’s studies also revealed that family estrangement is often related to a severe—in some cases, total—breakdown in communication. He pointed out that when a major fight in the family occurs, communication tends to shut down and family members take sides, making the situation even more difficult to handle. “When communication ends, the estranged person begins to do what is called ‘stonewalling,’ that is, they put up a communication wall and refuse all contacts,” the expert said.

The OP’s family seemingly took the sister’s side without even considering what the redditor had to say herself, and eventually, she cut all ties with them, seeking a fresh start in life. The final straw was seeing her family go on Christmas holiday without her. According to The Hidden Voices Report on family estrangement in adulthood, the holiday season is the most difficult time for those no longer in touch with their family members (followed by birthdays and time spent with other people’s families).

The Hidden Voices Report also revealed that roughly 70-75% of estranged family members have no contact with their parents or siblings (just over 20% of the rest saying they have minimal contact). In her update of the story, the OP shared she was willing to reconcile with her father; however, she was reluctant to do so with her mother. The report suggested that out of the estranged family members, daughters tend to be the most unsure about whether or not they could have a functioning relationship with their kin in the future.

When asked about it, 43% of them replied that they don’t know and roughly as many of them disagreed with such a statement; 14% believed their relationship could never go back to normal. In comparison, 16% of mothers were unsure about whether they could be on good terms with their estranged family members in the future; 5% could imagine them having a functioning relationship, while as much as 79% couldn’t.

The majority of surveyed people agreed that it can be helpful talking to others about their situation. The OP decided to turn to the online community to pour her heart out; and she was met with support from fellow redditors, some of whom shared their thoughts on the matter in the comments.

Navigating complex family dynamics can be as challenging as dealing with grief. In a way, both involve processing loss and finding ways to move forward.

For more insights on carrying on through difficult times, you might explore how laughter helps in the face of grief, just like Sara and Katie did after losing their mother.