Picking a name for your unborn child is an incredibly important and responsible process, and I personally know a couple who argued so bitterly over the name of their future kid that they almost ended up getting divorced before they even became parents. Yes, the choice should be mutual - because otherwise various nuances are possible...
The author of our story today, the user u/Elegant-Draft-7724, was lucky - she and her husband always had unanimity on the name for their unborn child. There was no luck with another - it took the woman many years of fruitless attempts to finally get pregnant. And when this happened, her younger sister framed her...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a younger sister who is at the moment pregnant with her third kid
Image credits: Anthony Tran (not the actual photo)
At the same time it took the author many years to finally get pregnant using IVF
Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724
Many years ago, the author and her spouse had picked boy and a girl names for their future kids
Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724
However, it turned out that the younger sister used these names for her first two children
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Elegant-Draft-7724
So when it came time for naming once more, the author refused to disclose it to her sister, and got called out
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 38 years old, and her sister is two years younger. And it so happened that the sisters now simultaneously became pregnant - although for the youngest one, this pregnancy was the third, and for the author - the first and incredibly coveted. She and her husband spent many years trying to conceive a child - and had almost lost faith in success, until finally IVF had its effect.
Even at the beginning of their life together, the couple agreed to choose two names in case they had a girl or a boy - and this choice was unanimous. A couple of years later, when the OP's sister had her first kid, a girl, she couldn't agree on a name with her spouse - so she used her sister's "girl pick."
A few years later, the younger sister gave birth to a boy - and history repeated itself, but this time the boy’s name was involved. The younger sister sincerely admitted that she no longer believed in the possibility of the OP getting pregnant, so she believed that the name would “stay in the family” in any case.
As a result, for their unborn child, the author and her husband had to combine the names her sister had already used - but when asked which name they picked, the original poster refused. Just in case. After all, she was not obliged to unveil anything to her sister. Although the OP told her other siblings everything - and they, by the way, fully supported her in this decision.
Image credits: Heiner (not the actual photo)
“I don’t think this woman is doing anything wrong. On the one hand, choosing a name is a personal matter for each parent and no one objects to children being namesakes. On the other hand, the circumstances under which her sister gave names to her kids make this case specific," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “And the fact that this mother seemed to be seriously counting on her older sister’s infertility also doesn't speak in her favor.”
“In such cases, when after many attempts you still manage to get pregnant, many women are very sensitive to their child, both before and after their birth - so it's not surprising that this mom-to-be chose to keep the name a secret, just in case. In the end, it’s a personal matter for her sister and her husband to come to a common opinion or show their imagination themselves, without relying on someone else’s idea,” Irina concludes.
Some commenters under the original post also suspected that the OP’s sister wanted to use “her creative work” for the third time. "Not her business and I wouldn't be surprised if she wants to use the name for her kid (or something similar)," one person commented. "My husband and I talked about that possibility or it's her way of making sure I don't use the names we picked out years ago," the author replied.
And commenters were also interested in at what point the sister disclosed the names for her first two children to the original poster. "Has she told you the names she has picked this time? Who is due to have the baby first?" someone questioned, and the author responded: "She told me after each of her two children were born and I think I'm due first."
In any case, people in the comments are almost sure that even if the first two cases hadn't happened, the OP is completely within her right not to tell anything to anyone. "Baby names are so personal and private. My siblings never shared their baby names ever and nobody was ever pissed. It's respecting privacy," one commenter concluded. And do you agree with these conclusions? Please share your opinions in the comments below.
At the same time, people in the comments unanimously sided with the mom-to-be, claiming her sister's behavior was improper
