Probably no one will argue that double standards are bad in almost any life situation. And double standards in everything that concerns children are even worse. But do we have the right to judge what is happening far from us?
Well, the user u/Ok_Program_6821, the author of the story that we'll tell you today, initially wanted to share her opinion about her elder sister's behavior in communicating with neighboring children, but a much more important question arose in the comments. However, let's take everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has an elder sister who lives 3 states away, so she can watch her life mainly on social media
Image credits: Mizuno K / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman has been positioning herself as extremely kid-friendly, claiming she's always there for any kids
Image credits: Ok_Program_6821
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, recently during a phone call with the author, the sister tried to not let the neighbors' daughter know she was at home
Image credits: Ok_Program_6821
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the neighbors behave quite loudly and rudely, so the author's sister usually feeds the girls and helps them - but she's tired of this
Image credits: Ok_Program_6821
The author rebuked the sister for being a hypocrite since she positions herself as so kid-friendly online, but got harsh backlash from her
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she is her mid-twenties, while her older sister (the author suggests calling her Kimantha) is in her forties. The author lives several states away, so she can follow her sister's life only through her posts on social media.
And, judging by these posts, Kimantha is a cool mom herself and is incredibly kid-friendly. She constantly posts how the neighbors' children come to visit her and her daughter "Petal," how happy she is to see them, and is always ready to treat them and say some kind words. According to the woman, her friends' children call her Momma K. Well, that's just wonderful and deserves all the approval, right?
But recently, when the sisters were talking on the phone, Kimantha suddenly cursed under her breath and began to speak more quietly. After inquiring about the reason for this behavior, the OP found out that the neighbors' youngest daughter, 7-year-old "Annabell," knocked on their door - and Kimantha didn't want her to get that she was home.
Suddenly the woman opened up, admitting that she had already had enough of Annabell and her elder sister, 15-year-old "Betty." Especially when they sometimes spend the night on their porch - when their abusive father is at home.
One word led to another - and during the conversation, our heroine found out that Kimantha is not as kid-friendly as she positions herself in public, and that she's absolutely not ready to interfere in the family affairs of her neighbors. The original poster reproached the sister for this and received a real wave of negativity in response - like, she's not given to understand what she feels.
Moreover, according to Kimantha, she doesn't like Annabell also because she allegedly bullies Petal at school. When the author asked how this bullying is expressed, the mother just told her something about refusing to sit next to her at lunch and a quarrel during recess. From the OP's perspective, these are nothing more than typical playground conflicts...
Of course, the author understands perfectly well that her sister isn't responsible for the problems in the neighboring family. But since she presents herself as so sympathetic on social media, she could at least try to match this image in real life. For example, to report child abuse to the police or Child Protective Services. But the sister didn't want to hear anything - and since then she has sent angry texts to the author more than once.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
How often does the silence of people around and even unwitting witnesses become a factor that enables violence in families? This question has been the subject of various studies more than once throughout the last decades.
“The silence of neighbors and family seems to defy belief, yet similar silence has been noticed in other cases of long-term abuse,” the dedicated post on Child Welfare Monitor claims. “Is it part of American culture to believe that one’s home is one’s castle and neighbors should not interfere?”
For decades, special strategies have been developed to prevent violence in families - and in fact, much has been achieved during this time. And yet, such cases are not so rare - and that is why it is so important for neighbors and acquaintances not to remain silent.
"Call the child abuse hotline if you reasonably believe that a child is being abused, neglected, exploited, or abandoned. Call the police if you think a child is in immediate danger. It's better to report than to run the risk of a child being harmed," FindLaw.com quotes Cynthia Weiss, the communications director for Arizona's child welfare agency.
People in the comments mostly wanted to know why the author's sister hadn't reported the situation to CPS yet. The OP responded that the sister "doesn't want to rock the boat when she doesn't have concrete evidence of anything." However, the original poster said that the very sleeping on the neighbor's porch speaks volumes.
On the other hand, some commenters wrote that the OP's sister is trying to be a safe haven for the girls as best she can. "It's unfortunate that the girls don't have somewhere else to go when your sister needs a break, but your sister is only human - and she needs to put her own daughter first," one of the responders wrote quite reasonably.
In any case, almost all the people there are sure that the CPS should have been involved - and the behavior of the author's sister is not the main thing here. "For God's sake please notify whatever authorities available in your country and get those girls help! Your hypocritical sister is not who you should be focusing on in this situation," another person claimed. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this case?
People in the comments asked the author to report this situation to police or Child Protection Service urgently, and told that her sister's behavior isn't the main issue here
