In "Rain Man," perhaps one of the most poignant and touching movies ever made, parents make the incredibly difficult decision to send their older, mentally disabled son to a specialized mental institution in order to give their youngest son a chance to live a normal life.
Perhaps this is precisely the resolve lacking in the parents of the user u/Jessiieyy, our narrator today. For years, they have prioritized their eldest, mentally handicapped daughter over the younger one - and now they have to face a difficult dilemma. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves and just turn to reading.
More info: Reddit
Things aren't easy when your sibling is overly aggressive, and everything is even worse in case your parents treat you poorly in favor of them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has an elder sister, who is mentally disabled and is prone to violence outbursts
Image credits: Jessiieyy
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Our heroine, alas, is the typical victim to these outbursts, and she really believes her entire life is going awry over her sister
Image credits: Jessiieyy
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For instance, no one of her friends ever came over to her because of aggressive sis, and the parents even coax her to tell lies to doctors when the sister harms her
Image credits: Jessiieyy
So recently the teen confronted her parents willing them to send the sis to mental institution and threatened to leave home because of her
So, the Original poster (OP) explains that she’s 16 years old, has a mentally handicapped sister a year older than her, and that because of this sis, almost her entire life, literally from birth, has been a true nightmare. The problem is that her sister often has unprovoked outbursts of aggression, and the author often becomes the victim of these outbursts.
Furthermore, because of her sister, our heroine often had to miss holidays and parties of her friends and classmates (her parents simply stayed home with the eldest one and wouldn't let her go alone). Guests also never came to their home, because their parents were understandably afraid that their kids might accidentally get hurt.
As we've already mentioned, the sister has repeatedly attacked the OP, and most recently, she even pulled out a whole clump of her hair, leaving her with a scalp issue. The parents not only failed to provide her with timely help, but also demanded that she lie to the doctors about the cause of the injury, so that their eldest child wouldn't be taken away for specialized treatment.
But the author honestly admits that she’d like her sis to be taken away somewhere. Simply because she feels unsafe around her, and that her entire life is getting wasted over her too. The girl recently told the parents she wanted to run away from home and clearly confronted them for always prioritizing her sis. However, this argument had no effect, so the author decided to seek support online.
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Research suggests that outbursts of unmotivated aggression are quite common among mentally handicapped adolescents and adults. For example, this dedicated article claims that challenging behavior occurs in approximately 10% of adults with intellectual disabilities, and even tends to persist over time, with a rate of around 25% at two years.
In such cases, medical professionals do recommend specialized treatment - as, for example, the authors of this study, published in 2022 at the National Library of Medicine. Of course, the success of such treatment may vary, but turning a blind eye to the problem is definitely not advisable.
Well, this is essentially what the parents of the original poster are doing, prioritizing one of their children over another. Ultimately, neither girl is to blame for the current situation, so responsibility lies largely with their mother and father. Incidentally, this is precisely what many commenters on the original post noted.
According to the commenters, this cannot go on, and the author should draw others' attention here. Get the police involved, report it to school counselors, or at least call the CPS herself - any of these actions could actually help. The readers also believe that moving out would be reasonable too - simply from the standpoint of our heroine's safety.
"Even if//when your sister gets sent away for help, your parents will take it out on you. That house isn't safe either way," one of the responders noted rather wisely. So, what's your opinion on this case, our dear readers? Please feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below the post.
Most commenters gave the 16YO their support, even urging her to move from family home to some relatives as well
