Death is part of life, whether we like it or not. And while we would like to never experience the loss of loved ones, sadly, it's not a thing that we can fully control. What we can control is the memory of the deceased. Photos are probably one of the things that help to realize this aim -- they not only help to maintain the memories but also the reflections of those who have passed.
In today's story, a man kept a photo of his late wife, who died in a car crash. Yet, this was met with dislike by his sister-in-law, and it caused some stormy drama in his current wife's family.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, photos are the only things left of the people who were once a big part of your life, so keeping these photos around seems reasonable, doesn’t it?
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
A man's wife died in a car crash several years ago, and up to this day, he keeps a printed photo of her in his and his new wife's home
The wife isn't against the photo, as she knows what an important part of her husband's life his late wife was
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Yet, one day, her sister, while snooping around, found this photo and caused drama about the fact that he still keeps a photo of someone who he isn't together with anymore
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/aita_kicking_sis_out
The author found this view very disrespectful not only to the memory of the dead woman and her husband but to herself as well, so she kicked her sister out
The OP met her husband a few months after his first wife, who he had been with for 8 years, died in a car accident. The man was devastated after his wife’s death, and the original poster never expected to be a replacement for her, but she wanted to be the next chapter in his life. And so, she was gladly accepted by his family, and 2 years after meeting, they got married and have been together for 6 years.
Recently, the author’s sister had a hard time in her life, so the couple sheltered her. One day, she was snooping around in her brother-in-law’s home office and found a photo of him and his first wife, which was taken a few months before her accident.
Well, it is commonly agreed that photographs help people maintain certain memories (for example, of late loved ones), just like the OP’s husband, who keeps a picture of his wife who tragically passed away. Basically, it’s the thing that helps him to connect and honor the memory of a person he lost.
Essentially, every time a person recalls a memory, their brain changes small details in order to create the most captivating story that makes sense to them. So, in a way, for some, photos can be something that helps them to maintain a coherent story or a memory as much as possible, yet it shouldn’t be considered a completely true reflection of reality.
With photos, a person focuses on the visuals and might remember these better, but the other stimuli are ignored and more likely to be forgotten, skewing the memories in the long run. Constantly taking photos of things in life takes a person out of the moment and makes it harder for them to recall certain experiences.
Yet, while constant photographs can skew our memories, this still doesn’t deny the fact that it’s still a good way to remember loved ones who are gone, especially how they looked, which can be very important when dealing with grief.
So, the OP, by not banning her husband from having this photo of his first wife, is, in a way, showing respect for the person this man loved so much. Also, it is not like he had made an altar for her – it is the only printed photo in their house, and there are many more of him with his current wife.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Yet, this one photo infuriated the original poster’s sister. She explained that she didn’t like that her brother-in-law kept a picture of his ex around. The author explained that a woman who died in a horrible accident isn’t merely an ex, as she was a big part of her husband’s life, so it’s OK that he keeps that one photo out. But this explanation didn’t satisfy the sister, and she kept insisting that he shouldn’t keep photos of someone he used to sleep with.
That’s where, in the OP’s eyes, her sister crossed a line. Reducing someone who meant a lot to her husband to simply someone he used to sleep with was not only disrespectful to both him and the dead woman but to the original poster as well. So, she decided to kick the sister out, knowing she didn’t have anywhere to go – it was just too much.
While the husband was thankful the wife had his back, many others didn’t understand how she could’ve ruined her relationship with her sister over something like that. So, the woman turned to Reddit.
And people there weren’t like the ones in a woman’s life – they understood where she was coming from by kicking out the sister. They also pointed out that the sister wasn’t only a jerk for causing such drama over a photo, but it was also kind of suspicious why she was snooping around in the first place – it isn’t even her home!
So, maybe after getting kicked out, the sister will learn a lesson about snooping and making assumptions. Or she won’t, if everyone else keeps justifying her disrespectful behavior. But, hey, they aren’t doing her any favors by coddling her, are they?
This action was misunderstood by many family members, as it seemed disproportionate to them, but people online understood where she was coming from
