As a dad of three myself, I understand babysitting can be a blessing—especially if it's from someone in your immediate family. Ideally, your parents are a great option, or your siblings—if you have any. But the most important thing is to never, under any circumstances, overuse the goodwill of your loved ones.
Don't turn it into a rule or consider it someone's responsibility. At the end of the day, no one is actually responsible for the child except their parents. This is a rule that has been broken more than once or twice by the family of user u/Throwaway_Hoo_Hee573, the author of today’s tale.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has two elder sisters, both single moms, and they have often asked her to babysit their kids
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One of the sisters always offered the author money for babysitting, while another always claimed she couldn't afford it
Image credits: Throwaway_Hoo_Hee573
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the author was asked to babysit again—but refused due to having a heavy workload these days
Image credits: Throwaway_Hoo_Hee573
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The sister immediately squealed on her to their mom, and the lady dubbed the "ungrateful" daughter "immature"
Image credits: Throwaway_Hoo_Hee573
However, the author didn't think she did anything wrong and asked netizens for some advice and support
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 22 years old, she studies in college and works as well, but her relatives seem to perceive her exclusively as a babysitter. Both of her older sisters are single moms, and while "Joanne," the eldest, always paid her sister extra for taking care of her daughter, the middle one, "Frankie," never bothered to pay.
Previously, our heroine often had conflicts with Frankie over this, and the only one who usually took her side was Joanne. And now, the middle sister once again asked to babysit her son for the upcoming weekend—even offering to pay... but the author planned to work on those days and could actually earn more than ten times more.
The author refused—the sister reacted calmly but immediately complained to their mom. And she, realizing that in this case, the burden of babysitting would fall on her, immediately lashed out with criticism toward the youngest daughter, accusing her of being “immature” and “abandoning the family.” Joanne again supported the OP, offering to spend the night at her place so that the mom would have time to cool off.
The original poster's friends—after she told them about this conflict—decisively took her side, praising her for defending her personal boundaries. In turn, our heroine, perfectly aware that she was absolutely right here, still felt partly guilty “for leaving everyone high and dry.” And she turned to netizens asking for some advice and support.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Of course, if you have, for example, your parents voluntarily involved in raising your kids, then this makes parenting much easier. But you should never overuse this trust. At the same time, some relatives really cannot afford free babysitting, and this is completely reasonable.
This dedicated post on Scary Mommy notes that when relatives, in any case, are agreeing to take care of your kids, thereby denying themselves some activities, changing their daily schedule, and changing their own habits. In this case, it certainly makes sense to offer your extended family members some perks, whether big or small.
“If you can't afford to offer family members a competitive hourly rate - and honestly, who can these days?! - think of something you can swing that they would appreciate, like a $50 gift certificate to your mom's favorite salon in exchange for childcare that would otherwise cost you $100,” Scary Mommy quotes Lizzie Post, co-president at the Emily Post Institute.
Care.com also recommends offering relatives various financial options in exchange for their time spent with your kids. This could be covering expenses, trading favors, or just gifts and other gestures. But in any case, you can't regard a refusal—even in exchange for money or perks—as a personal insult toward you or your offspring.
For example, Bored Panda already told the story of a mother who regarded nearly all relatives as free babysitters, because it’s her “village,” and once got a harsh reality check in return. Whatever the case, when deciding to have a child, we must be aware of the degree of responsibility that this brings on ourselves. On ourselves and only on ourselves—and not on everyone around you.
The commenters on the original post also completely agreed with the author, claiming that she did the right thing, and in no case should she allow her personal boundaries to be crossed. “There are many other babysitters in the world. Tell them to find someone else,” one of the responders aptly wrote. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this position? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below this post.
People in the comments unanimously sided with the author and told her that her sisters should find someone else to babysit their offspring
