When planning a wedding, it's normal to want it to look the way you imagine, the way you want it to look. After all, it's your big day, isn't it? And yet, other people always come in with their ideas of how to "improve" it.
This couple didn't avoid them either. For them, it was the groom's sister, who had grand ideas on what the wedding should look like, which made her way more of a central figure than they intended. To make matters worse, they couldn't technically say no to her... So, you can imagine what kind of drama ensued – dive in to find out more and see if your imagination served you right.
Theoretically, a wedding should look exactly how the couple wants it to and still people like to suggest how to "improve" it
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Just like this sister who wanted her brother to throw a big wedding
Image credits: dusanpetkovic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The thing was that both the man and his fiancée wanted their celebration to be low-key
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But the sister, who struggled with rejection sensitive dysphoria, had hard time accepting that her ideas won't be implemented
Image credits: throwawayaitah101525
Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, the family starting pressuring the couple to change their minds, absolutely disregarding their wishes
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The pressure got so bad, that the couple decided that the only way to have the wedding they was without certain family members in it
Image credits: throwawayaitah101525
That meant that the man's sister, brother-in-law and parents were uninvited
After two years together, the OP got engaged to his girlfriend. They aren’t planning to have a big wedding, as it seems like a headache to deal with. Instead, they planned to go to the city hall and sign the required papers with the closest family members and friends, and go to dinner afterwards.
Yet, the man’s sister got upset over their plan. Apparently, she wanted to be the bride's maid of honor, be part of the wedding ceremony, and stuff like that. In normal circumstances, you could say that the brother could simply refuse her ideas if he doesn’t like them, and that’s it.
But in this story, the catch is that the sister has ADHD and a rejection-sensitive dysphoria coming from it. That means that she takes rejection really personally or perceives certain situations as rejection even if it isn’t. As you can guess, she took her brother’s refusal to fulfill her ideas for his wedding as rejection.
So, in the end, when the couple threw their wedding in the fashion they wanted, they decided not to invite the said sister to the small celebration. The brother-in-law and parents, who pressured the couple to fulfill their sister's wishes, weren’t invited either. Why would people who wanted the couple to throw a wedding they didn’t want be invited, right?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After all, the general consensus is that the wedding should be about the couple and not their guests. It’s their big day, a celebration of their love. Granted, it’s considerate to think about certain things that would make guests a little more comfortable and have a better time, but it doesn’t have to be regarding every single detail. And especially not when it comes to something as huge as the OP’s sister wanted.
The sister herself should have been more considerate of the brother’s wishes and not pushed so hard that he had no choice but to uninvite her. Of course, we’re empathetic towards her rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), as it causes a person to be unable to regulate rejection-related emotions.
These emotions tend to explode in a much more intense fashion than any other emotion. Just imagine how hard it is to deal with, especially since it’s not an official diagnosis, which means that the research and treatment methods for it are relatively limited.
It also seems that the family members try to avoid situations of rejecting her as much as possible, so the brother’s refusal to do what she wanted was rather an unorthodox action. At the same time, it was his day, so he shouldn’t feel pressured to do it in a way he doesn’t want. As someone online pointed out, technically the sister’s RSD is her problem and she should try not to make it others’ too.
Do you agree with the OP’s actions? Would you have done things differently? Please, explain your stance in the comments!
The people online thought it was a sensible move – the wedding should be about the couple and not anyone else
