You may have heard that old song I Got a Name by Jim Croce: a half-century-old hit brought back to life by the genius of Quentin Tarantino in Django Unchained. "Like the pine trees linin' the windin' road, I've got a name, I've got a name. Like the singin' bird and the croakin' toad, I've got a name, I've got a name...
And I carry it with me like my daddy did, but I'm livin' the dream that he kept hid..." and at this point, we're just getting to the story we're going to tell you today. The story from the user u/Flaky_Couple_1304, which has it all: naming, parental decisions and, of course, the family secret that they had been hiding for years.
The author of the post has a younger sister who's pregnant with her first baby
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The woman and her husband are choosing the name for their kid now, and the mom wanted to honor the memory of her recently late grandpa
Image credits: u/Flay_Couple_1304
So the mom-to-be wanted to name her son Bobby - but then the author unveiled to her the family secret that it wasn't grandpa's actual name
Image credits: Steshka Willems (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Flay_Couple_1304
It turned out that the old gentleman's real name was Cyrus while his stepmom called him Bobby - so he used to even hate this name
Image credits: Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Flay_Couple_1304
The sister first thanked her sibling for letting her know this, but then got upset as they had 'ruined' this name for her
So, the Original Poster (OP) has a sister who is about to become a mother, and right now the parents-to-be are in the process of choosing a name for their baby. And among the ideas for inspiration in such searches, the names of relatives often occupy a decent place. So it was for the sister of the author of the post, who decided to name her future son Bobby - in honor of her late grandfather.
The woman was not even embarrassed by the fact that during his lifetime, the old gentleman was flatly against this name for his own grandchildren. Well, this is probably what she thought - now grandfather has left this world, so it's time to honor his memory. Moreover, the expectant mother really liked the name 'Bobby'...
And then the original poster came into play, who, after much deliberation, nevertheless decided to reveal the family secret to their sister. Simply, as they say, to give her some information for reflection. The thing is that "Bobby" was not their grandfather's real name, but a nickname and, moreover, he hated it with all his heart! And the story, as usual, is rooted in the man's own childhood...
The OP's grandfather was born as Cyrus, or Cy for short, and he liked that name. That's what his mother called him - in honor of her maiden name. But then, alas, she passed away, and when his dad remarried, the stepmom began to call her stepson Bobby - in honor of her own grandfather Robert. So it turned out that part of the family and acquaintances called the man Bobby, but to his wife and closest friends, he always remained Cy... Now you perhaps understand why he did not want to call any of his grandsons Robert.
The author admits that they did not tell their sister this out of a desire to make mischief - they simply wanted her to have all the information. At first she thanked the sibling and said that Cy was also a nice name for a kid, but then she became upset because she liked Bobby much more, but now it did not have that specific meaning for her. Moreover, having told this family story, the OP, according to their sister, "ruined the name Bobby" for her - because naming a child that way now would mean not so much honoring the grandpa's memory as going against is will...
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Historically, in the United States, the traditional English naming scheme for children was often used - especially since in the old days there were many offspring in families. The first son, according to this tradition, was named after the dad's father, the second - in honor of the mom's father, the third - in honor of the father himself, the fourth - in honor of the eldest of the dad's brothers, and so on. The same principle was usually applied to the choice of names for girls, only here priority was given to the names of relatives on the maternal side.
However, many centuries have passed since then, and the rigid system of naming children is a thing of the past, leaving only some of its elements: for example, naming a son after his grandpa, and a daughter after her grandma. On the other hand, history must be known and respected - no one argues here, but it should not prevent us from looking to the future.
"Even if there's a long-standing family naming tradition, you don't have to follow it," Pampers corporate blog points out on picking a name for your future child. "This is your baby, and he or she will (most likely) carry this name for a lifetime. So although you can definitely consider family names for your baby, the decision is ultimately yours."
The original poster was very kind to answer many of the comments in detail. So, for example, they said that the grandpa told his story to the older grandkids, while the sister was much younger. Moreover, in the author's own words, they were always annoyed that family members, even knowing that the old gentleman did not like the name Bobby, kept on calling him that anyway. As for the opinion of the commenters, they basically believe that the OP did nothing wrong here.
In any case, family history remains history, and even if the new mom calls the baby "Bobby", this should in no way offend the memory of her late grandpa - because she just likes this name so much. After all, as one of the people in the comments aptly pointed out, the sister knew her grandfather as Bobby all her lifespan, and always associated him with this name. "I think the important point here is that it's her memory and association to the name, not your grandfather's (even though he may have hated it)," this wise commenter summarized. And by the way, is there any tradition of naming kids in your own family, our dear readers?
However, people in the comments claim the author did nothing wrong and it should be just the parents' choice, nothing else's
