Relationships,FamilyJAN 31, 2025

"Find Your Own Man": Woman Furious After SIL Demands Family Heirloom Back

Questions of inheritance, from money, to property and just “items” have an ugly way of tearing families apart. Even when there is an ironclad will, just the simple decision of who gets what is unfortunately the cause of a lot of discord and strife.

A young woman asked the internet if she went too far when she decided to take her brother to court over a family heirloom he took and gifted to his girlfriend. Later she shared a sizable update. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

It can be easy to forget family ties when assets and money are on the line

Image credits: Danil_Rudenko (not the actual photo)

So one woman wondered if she was wrong to sue her brother over an heirloom he just took for himself

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: CourseTasty9395

Wills have a way of sparking family drama

The young woman who made the post didn’t indicate where she is from, which can make it hard to understand exactly what rules do and don’t apply to her situation. While some believe that, in the absence of a “real” will, there is no telling who gets what, the reality is that oral (nuncupative) wills also exist.

However, they are not all equally recognized, for example, in the US, only twenty states permit them, and they often require additional circumstances, for example they can be made by military personnel on active duty. This is all to say that questions of inheritance are pretty complicated, particularly when dealing with specific family traditions.

In cases like this, having your family able to back you is pretty important. There is really no one else who can testify to a family tradition but a family member. Unfortunately, this can also not necessarily be enough. After all, the brother made his own claims, how exactly can a court differentiate who said what and to whom?

This is perhaps why, in one of the updates (the story continues below) the mom suggests dropping the entire thing. After all, at the end of this no matter who “wins,” the court decision, it will be a long-standing family issue for years to come. This means that it is seriously worth considering if the value of the necklace is more than the “value” of a relationship with one’s brother.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

The brother’s greed might have lasting implications

That being said, at the same time, it would appear that the brother has, himself, diminished this
relationship. If keeping the item in the maternal line is the goal, him just taking it is questionable. While it might be cruel to dismiss his girlfriend as an outsider, since there is no way to tell how long lasting this relationship might be, rejecting her out of hand is somewhat cold. There are all too many families that never accept someone’s partner, causing lasting issues.

However, by gifting her the necklace, after “manipulating” the father into handing it over, he has also put her in the line of fire. After all, accepting what is clearly a valuable family heirloom from just your boyfriend is perhaps a bit much. In general, this is a pretty messy situation, so it’s not surprising that the sister might want to get the law involved.

As some commenters note, the necklace could disappear very easily, so it's best to start a paper trail here. Suing a family member seems extreme, but the brother does seem like he was trying to pull a fast one. If the father is willing to testify in court (as detailed in update three, yes, three, which can be found below) then it does seem like there were some lies going on.