Most people don’t want to date a cheater, let alone marry one. But some folks truly think their love can change a cheetah’s (pun intended) spots. They fall so deeply in love that the red flags start to look almost rose-colored.
That’s what happened to a Redditor’s younger sister. The sister fell in love with the woman’s cheating ex-fiancé and even got engaged to him. Despite betraying her sister in such a huge way, the younger sibling thought she was completely in the right, and even their family took her side.
More info: Reddit
Younger sister asks older sibling to be maid of honor despite secretly dating her cheating ex for a year and getting engaged to him
Image credits: Анна Хазова / pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she had called off her wedding after finding out that her fiancé, Mike, had been cheating on her
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Just as she was moving on from the heartbreak, her younger sister, Lily, called her over for dinner and shared that she was engaged to Mike
Image credits: Emma Bauso / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman was shocked to learn about Lily and Mike’s secret relationship and refused to attend their wedding
Image credits: u/AlisonVio
Later, she felt torn because, on one hand, her parents were threatening to cut her off financially if she didn’t attend the wedding, whereas Lily had asked her to be her maid of honor
The 28-year-old woman had been through a lot because of her past relationship. She had dated a man named Mike for five years. The betrayal happened just three months before their wedding when she discovered her fiancé cheating on her with someone else. She immediately called off the wedding, and Mike moved away shortly after.
Infidelity can have a deep impact on the victim. It can make the betrayed person feel a huge sense of loss, loneliness, and emptiness. It also makes it tougher for the person cheated on to trust their partner and even other people in their life. That’s why it often takes a long time to heal from cheating.
Just as the poster was getting back to normal, her younger sister, Lily, sprung some horrible news on her. Lily invited her to dinner at their parents’ house and shared that she was engaged to Mike and that they had been secretly dating for a year. The worst part is that even OP’s parents knew about the relationship but had decided to keep the information from her.
This was a terrible betrayal on many levels and must have been extremely difficult for the woman to process. This kind of situation can also lead to betrayal trauma, where a person begins to feel more insecure about themselves and might engage in a lot of self-doubt. The negative feelings might be stronger if the betrayer is one’s romantic partner or close family member.
Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)
Despite dropping such a big bombshell, Lily really expected her older sister to be happy for her and Mike. She didn’t seem to understand how painful the entire experience must have been for her sibling. Even the poster’s parents sided with their youngest daughter. The OP could not handle their behavior and decided not to attend her sister’s wedding.
Everyone might have been disappointed with how the woman handled the situation, but she had to do what was right for her mental health. Psychologists say the best way to deal with a betrayal is to calm your mind and avoid overthinking. Slowly, over time, you can accept and acknowledge the hurt caused by the betrayer and try to move on.
The woman’s parents didn’t understand her feelings and expected her to stop being “selfish” and attend her sister’s wedding. If she just gave in, it might indicate that she had forgiven the betrayal. But forgiveness takes time and should not be rushed. It’s also important to remember that forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their bad behavior; it’s just a step toward repairing the relationship and feeling better.
Hopefully, the sisters can patch things up and heal their relationship. But nobody should have been forcing the OP to move on and accept such betrayal in the first place. Who knows, maybe Mike might behave the same way with Lily, and only then will she realize how her sibling felt.
Some netizens speculated that Lily might have been “the other woman” that Mike cheated on the poster with
