Unfortunately, it’s a common occurrence that when family members bring their partners to introduce them, the family doesn’t welcome them very warmly. And it’s understandable (kinda). We want our siblings or parents to be happy, don’t want anybody to hurt them and hope for them to be with a genuine person. However, treating a person with respect and being kind to them is the least that we can do.
More info: Reddit
Rude behavior towards another person may come back to you, just more painfully
Image credits: QueenstownRafting (not the actual photo)
Man asks if he was being a jerk for not giving his sister the wedding gift that she wanted because she was rude to his girlfriend
Image credits: Recent_Exit1536
Image credits: slgckgc (not the actual photo)
Man’s sister asked his girlfriend to be a bridesmaid, which was surprising for everybody, but very exciting
Image credits: Recent_Exit1536
Image credits: lil'bear (not the actual photo)
Later on, the bride-to-be posted a picture from her bridesmaids' proposal brunch to which his GF was not invited, thus they were sure that she changed her mind
Image credits: Recent_Exit1536
Image credits: Adam Red (not the actual photo)
However, then his sister invited his GF to come to her bachelorette party, where she helped plan the party, but again, she ended up not being invited
Image credits: Recent_Exit1536
Image credits: Kara (not the actual photo)
He couldn’t take it anymore and instead of the fancy mixer that his sister wanted and expected, he decided to cut her a check instead
Image credits: Recent_Exit1536
He ended up being accused by his sister and family members of destroying his sister's honeymoon
A few days ago a man shared a story asking community members if he was too harsh for not giving his sister a wedding gift that she wanted badly because of her rude behavior to his girlfriend. The post went viral immediately, as in just 4 days it had 16K upvotes and 2K upvotes.
The story starts by sharing that the author's sister announced her engagement and asked his girlfriend to be her bridesmaid. It was a surprise for everybody as they weren't the closest friends, though very exciting. However, a few weeks later, the bride-to-be posted about her bridesmaids' proposal brunch, to which OP’s girlfriend wasn’t invited. She was really hurt, but mentioned that she didn’t expect to be asked anyway.
However, after some time, she was asked to the bachelorette party and also invited to get ready with the bride and her friends on the wedding day. Unfortunately, it ended up similarly as the bridesmaids' brunch. Despite his GF helping to plan the party, she didn’t get an invite and kind of ended up being ghosted. Now, the last invite that the bride-to-be ‘gave’ to the GF about getting ready together was also canceled. And that was the point when the author had enough.
He knew that his sister wanted a fancy mixer, which he had bought for her already, thus she was expecting it. However, after her recent behavior with his girlfriend, he wasn’t feeling so generous and cut her a check instead. Now, a few days after the wedding, OP received a message from his sister asking what happened to the mixer, to which he responded asking what happened to treating his girlfriend like a normal human being. However, in the end, he ended up being accused of ruining his sister’s honeymoon with his rude message.
Community members backed the author up in this situation and slammed his sister for her behavior. “You cannot ruin someone's honeymoon by not giving them a mixer. She's just mad because she knows you're right about how she treated your partner,” one user wrote. Also, folks joked that OP’s sister got too good a gift after such behavior. “I wouldn’t have even given her a check.”
Image credits: Justin Leonard (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda contacted F. Diane Barth, who is a psychotherapist, psychoanalyst and blogger. She kindly agreed to share her professional opinion regarding family conflicts and how we can deal with them in a healthy way.
To begin with, Diane shares a few strategies that can help manage emotions during conflicts, especially regarding weddings, as in the story. “It’s really useful to remember that everyone has their own hopes, dreams, and feelings attached to a wedding,” she emphasizes. Even if other people have different issues, it’s important to understand that it’s not really about you - it’s more about their struggles.
Now, speaking in more detail about the wedding, as it often brings many different generations and extended family members, it may appear impossible for everybody to feel valued and happy. “It’s hard to keep in mind all of the different needs and wishes of all of the different people involved, especially when it’s your wedding!” Diane shares. Although it seems like people should be focused on the couple's needs, that's not exactly what happens.
However, if you are a guest at a wedding party, the expert says that it’s helpful to think that your main goal should be to help navigate this complicated process of wishing a newly married couple a lifetime of happiness!
And finally, in the story, the author decided to not give his planned wedding gift as a form of retaliation, but Diane emphasizes that it would be a lot healthier to just talk about what happened. “Trying to punish someone for something they did doesn’t often work, especially if the person was or is important to you,” she shares.
In general, the best way is to always communicate and solve a problem without making decisions that you may regret later. As the psychotherapist shares, three of the most important things to communicate are that your feelings were hurt, you care about the other person and finally, that you want to try to repair the relationship.
Folks in the comments assured the author that he was not being a a jerk and his sister didn't deserve even a check
