A bit of sibling rivalry is to be expected—it’s quite natural. But if your grown-up brother or sister’s behavior gets really out of hand, you shouldn’t ever feel guilty about enforcing some healthy boundaries. They need to understand that their actions have consequences.
One redditor recently went viral after asking the r/AITAH online community for a verdict about a massive argument she had with her sibling. The poster explained that she ended up uninviting her sister who was extremely envious of her wedding dress. The situation got really ugly. Scroll down for the full story. Bored Panda reached out to the author of the story via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Things can get really ugly, really quickly when the people closest to you start envying what you have
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how her sister tried to ruin her wedding dress, right before the big day
Image credits: sloomstudio (not the actual photo)
Family members ought to support one another, not try to tear each other down
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Envy is an unavoidable part of life, we get it. Someone has something that you want—in this case a wedding dress—and you want it with your entire being. It’s important to embrace your feelings, however uncomfortable they might be. However, someone who can’t control these urges is going to end up hurting themselves and the people closest to them.
Telling your sister that she should change her wedding dress because you want it is, frankly, rude and immature. Trying to destroy your sister’s dress, however, is completely crossing the line. Weddings are supposed to be happy occasions where everyone sets aside their egos to celebrate the marrying couple’s love. Guests who can’t do that might soon find that they’re no longer guests at all.
This is exactly what happened with the bride. Unable to get her older sister to see sense, redditor u/reddit_storyz decided that the only course of action was kicking her sibling out of her wedding.
The vast majority of the r/AITAH community thought that the author was completely within her rights to respond this way. They were appalled not only by her sister’s actions, but also by how her fiancé thought she might have gone overboard.
Clear boundaries help keep everyone on the same page
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Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that just because someone is a member of your family doesn’t mean that they’ll always treat you with respect. All relationships need boundaries so everyone’s on the same page. If someone constantly mistreats you and disrespects you, their behavior needs to stop.
You could take them aside and explain how their behavior makes you feel. It could be that the person isn’t quite aware of how they’re affecting you in a negative way. However, if they continue acting maliciously and selfishly, it might be time to rethink your relationship with them. Unless they treat you with the dignity that you deserve, it might be time to reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Family means supporting your loved ones, not tearing them down out of envy.
Adult sibling rivalry can take many forms, from competing with one another to bragging in order to show how much ‘better’ your life is going. According to Verywell Mind, this rivalry can also mean that siblings, even after becoming adults, try to get their parents’ attention and get them on their side.
However, if siblings genuinely see each other as ‘the enemy,’ and interfere in their lives, trying to undermine them, then something has gone fundamentally wrong.
One reason why siblings fight is due to parental favoritism. For example, if someone feels like their parents have treated their younger or older sibling with more love and support, they might envy that relationship. That leads to them lashing out at others.
The happy couple need to focus on managing their stress levels before the big day
Image credits: Team EVELO (not the actual photo)
These sorts of complex feelings are best unraveled either through a lot of heart-to-heart discussions in person or seeking out a therapist’s insights. All of that frustration and envy isn’t going to disappear overnight. But taking the first step toward untangling that web of negative emotions is going to reap rewards in the future.
Organizing a wedding is stressful enough as it is. The last thing you want is to worry that someone close to you is going to sabotage your dress. The best way to avoid problems is to anticipate them in advance and plan accordingly.
However, life can throw curveball after curveball at us that we’ll never see coming. So if you feel backed into a corner, consider asking your loved ones or someone from the wedding staff for support. You do not have to go through this alone.
In the meantime, what really helps manage your stress levels is taking proper care of yourself in the run-up to the happy day. That means getting plenty of sleep, eating a healthy and nutritious diet, and getting plenty of movement.
Throw in some meditation, plenty of time spent in nature, and meeting with the people you truly care about, and you’re golden. If you spend all of your time managing the minutiae of the wedding, you’ll probably feel ragged when the big day finally arrives, unable to enjoy it.
