There’s quite a discussion going on when it comes to sharing the experience of growing up in a family with or without siblings. Some might say that there is a certain “hierarchy” or unwritten rules of how a kid is treated based on which offspring of the family they are. Whether these things are true or not, there is no doubt that sometimes families go through some rough patches. This is why Reddit user @Notbxlls444 decided to share the recent situation that happened during her 16th birthday that made her see her family in a different light.
The author of the post started her story by sharing that all of her family members were gathered together because of her 16th birthday party. Having in mind that it’s quite a huge deal for a young person to celebrate their sweet 16, the girl's family made sure that everyone would be celebrating with her at the restaurant. After the dinner, the candles on the cake followed, and everything seemed to be pretty normal until the time to open up the presents came.
One's 16th birthday is one of those special birthdays that many young people just can't wait for
Image credits: Peyri Herrera (not the actual image)
OP was handed her 26-year-old sister’s and her boyfriend’s present. Once she opened it, she saw a card with a text that said “Will you be my Maid of honor?” and a bunch of wedding-related things. This is when everyone's attention shifted from the birthday girl to her sister and her now-fiancé, who confirmed being engaged and even starting the wedding planning. What the author of the post did in this situation was to walk out of her birthday dinner and spent the rest of the evening in the park.
Reddit user decided to share how her special birthday was ruined by her older sister
Image credits: u/Notbxlls444
After a little while, her dad found her there and they spent some time together, talking. However, family drama ensued once they got back home as her mom and her sister found OP to be in the wrong for leaving everyone that evening, also stating that the announcement was much more important than her birthday. The only person who disagreed with them and was on the 16-year-old’s side was her dad.
The 26-year-old and her boyfriend thought it was a clever idea to announce their engagement during her sister's birthday party
Image credits: u/Notbxlls444
Of course, the family's attention shifted from the birthday girl to the bride-to-be
Image credits: Dan S (not the actual image)
The author of the post later provided other users with an update on how the situation escalated further. The family sat down to have a conversation where the younger daughter explained why she doesn’t want to be a maid of honor as it’s a huge responsibility. However, this was once again not received well by her mom and the sister, as they both didn’t see the problem with her taking this role. The only person who saw how unnecessary this was was the dad. The argument reached its peak when OP moved out of the house to live with her grandparents until the issue is resolved.
After OP opened her presents and bluntly agreed to be MOH, she left the party
Image credits: u/Notbxlls444
People online soon became very invested in the story as a lot of them saw that the mom and the older daughter are siding together and dismissing the other daughter’s feelings. They were glad to see that her dad is sticking up for her. The author of the post revealed that after talking with her grandparents about the situation, they were even suggesting that the dad should consider divorcing his wife as she makes his and his daughter’s life miserable.
Bored Panda contacted the author of the post to find out some more useful insights. The 16-year-old revealed that she didn’t expect the post to receive so much attention, but she is grateful for all the opinions and great advice. Having in mind that there might be a lot of people who find themselves in a similar situation, OP shared some advice that someone might find useful: “find someone that helps you in a way my dad helped me, but also to pull yourself up and get through out of a toxic situation. I’ve been told that life gets better and though it may seem impossible now, it will get better.”
Once the 16-year-old and her dad got home, she was met by her yelling mom and sister
Image credits: u/Notbxlls444
So, do any of the stereotypes that we hear about siblings and their relationship with parents hold truth? According to Psychology Today, the birth order of kids has no impact on how the kids turn out to be as individuals. This means that the first kid in the family will not necessarily become an overachiever while the last one turns out to be controlling or manipulative. What is interesting to know is that disagreements between siblings are quite a normal occurrence. Only half of adult siblings have a once-a-month conversation or a meeting, while the other half tend to communicate less frequently or don’t keep in touch at all, as shared in the article. So an understanding and loving relationship between siblings is a rare instance, even when they become adults.
The author of the post now wonders whether she really did the wrong thing for leaving the party
Image credits: Blaise Alleyne (not the actual image)
But is it true that there can be some kind of favoritism among parents when it comes to not being the only child in the family? The author of the post answered this question according to her own experience. “I do agree with the favoritism comments, my mom has always favored my sister over me and I knew it. Although she favored my sister, she didn’t make me feel left out or be nasty to me before this happened, she just preferred my sister and that was okay with me. They’re practically sisters and best friends, they have a lot more stuff in common than my mom and I do,” concluded the 16-year-old.
A lot of users online supported OP, stating that what the sister and her fiancé did was unacceptable
Image credits: u/Notbxlls444
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.