Many of us probably had a person in our childhood to whom our parents and relatives invariably compared us - not in our favor, of course. For some reason, many adults believe that such comparisons can actually motivate kids to do better, thus creating the classic "golden child" effect - and nothing more.
The story we'd like to tell you today, from the user u/Typical_Praline_5311, also involves a typical "golden child," but the author was even more unfortunate, since such a person has been with her for almost her entire life.
More info: Reddit
It's not easy living with a "golden child," but many of us really have to - and this doesn't actually bring anything good
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has such a "golden child" too - her cousin, "Camila"
Image credits: Typical_Praline_5311
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Camila was her mom's "miracle baby" and the woman made almost everyone in the family literally worship her daughter
Image credits: Typical_Praline_5311
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the author had her special family dinner after getting into her first choice university - but Camila tried to steal the thunder again
Image credits: Typical_Praline_5311
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author then snapped at her, opening up about everything she actually thought of the entitled cousin
Image credits: Typical_Praline_5311
The cousin stormed out in tears but then the teen took heat from their relatives for being "cruel"
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 18 years old. She recently got into her first choice university, and was very proud of it. To celebrate her success, the family gathered for a special dinner - and it was at this gathering that everything happened. Long story short, our heroine snapped at her cousin "Camila."
Camila was a cousin, but they grew up together from early childhood, and the OP constantly felt the whole family favored her. She was her mother's "miracle baby," so the mom always treated her with more than a little reverence and instilled the same attitude in almost all her relatives - at least, the adults.
For example, the grandma, who, after reading a poem Camila once wrote, literally framed it. Everyone treated our heroine normally - but compared to their admiration for the cousin, this just seemed miserable. And then, during the dinner to celebrate the OP's triumph, which she brought her boyfriend to, Camila suddenly showed up in a beautiful dress and immediately began to draw everyone's attention.
The author steadfastly endured the hints that without Camila, she would never have gotten into university. She gritted her teeth and watched as her cousin literally flirted with her boyfriend. But when she read her latest poem, supposedly dedicated to the author but in reality completely selfish, the OP lost her temper and just saw red.
She poured out everything she'd been holding onto over the years to her cousin, accusing her of being self-centered and overly entitled. Camila listened and stormed out in tears. After this, our heroine received a slew of accusations from older relatives about being "cruel," but, for instance, another cousin texted her that evening, saying that Camila actually got what she deserved...
Image credits: vh-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"There's nothing wrong with adult relatives admiring a child's talents in their early years, but over time, this admiration should have reasonable limits," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "Otherwise, you end up with a classic golden child."
According to the expert, our heroine did nothing wrong - in fact, perhaps she should’ve said these words to her cousin's face even sooner. Incidentally, in some situations, as Irina notes, such cases actually benefit "golden children," who begin to rethink their own behavior.
"But for this to happen, the person needs to truly understand why it all actually happened and not cover it up with resentment. In that case, nothing good will follow," Irina Matveeva summarizes. In fact, many readers in the comments also believed that the relationship between the cousins was completely and irrevocably ruined.
Some responders noted that it would be easier for the original poster in this situation to simply go to college, keep building a relationship with her boyfriend, focus on her studies, and try to forget about her cousin, and leave her in the past. "Ignore these ridiculous people and go on about your business being fabulous," someone added. Do you, our dear readers, agree with this point of view?
Many commenters sided with the author, urging her to go on living her life and stop thinking about her cousin
