You know, in one TV series many years ago, so many that I don’t remember exactly which one... I heard an absolutely brilliant formulation that defined family relationships. "Relatives are people from whom you sometimes endure an attitude for which you would have sent other people to hell for the rest of eternity."
Indeed, sometimes people are quite sincerely convinced that a similar set of chromosomes gives them every reason to be absolutely entitled towards others. Moreover, they are just as sincerely offended when they are put in their place or simply have the inadmissibility of their behavior pointed out to them. Would you like another example of such a story? Voila - this tale from the user u/Imadeabrunch on the AITA Reddit community.
The author of the post is a 22 Y.O. girl who moved out and decided to invite her relatives to her housewarming
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The author lives about an hour's drive from her relatives now, so everybody asked to have a brunch instead of a dinner
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
The hostess did her best to serve a great table, but there was no booze at all since she's teetotal for medical reasons
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
Much to the author's surprise, she got immediately roasted by her relatives for not serving them alcohol!
Image credits: Michael LaRosa (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
The author's brother even told her he wouldn't have come at all knowing there would be no booze there, and called his sister a 'witch' for not communicating this
Okay, fasten your seat belts, we are transported to the Netherlands, where our heroine lives, a 22 Y.O. girl who recently moved out to her own house and decided to invite her relatives over for a housewarming. Great idea, isn't it? But from about this moment, a sort of parade of red flags begins from almost all the relatives of the author of the post.
To begin with, the Original Poster's (OP) new home is about an hour away from the place where the rest of the family lives, so the idea of organizing a housewarming dinner was rejected right away - after all, the relatives did not want to drive home at late hours. Okay, no problem - the OP then invited everyone to a housewarming brunch and all seven expected guests agreed.
The hostess did her best - all kinds of drinks, snacks, sweets, and fruits were waiting for the guests... in general, the table was full of treats. There was only one thing missing - booze. According to the author of the post, she has not touched alcohol for many years, mainly for medical reasons, because she shouldn't mix it with her medications. The relatives, of course, knew this very well, so the OP did not expect they'd be so dramatic over this.
At first, the OP's brother, half in jest, half in earnest, stated that if he had known that there would be no alcohol at the party, he would not have come at all. Then the girl's mom said that it was still worth warning - then those who wanted to could have brought a drink with them. No, the author's relatives are not heavy drinkers, so she was surprised by such a reaction. Moreover, she understood that the guests still had to drive back home - and they had to do this sober. Well, the last straw was the brother's statement that she acted like a... well, like a witch by not communicating that.
The most interesting thing is that only two of the seven invited guests brought any gifts to her housewarming at all, and the brother was not one of those two. And yet, when the author turned to her friends, telling this story, some folks said that she behaved rudely here. As the original poster admits, though, most of her friends still took her side in this rather ugly conflict.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
"To be honest, I'm not entirely aware of Dutch traditions regarding parties and guests, but it seems to me that the relatives of this girl did not do very well here anyway," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. "After all, they knew her medical history and could assume that she didn't serve alcohol. In any case, I think one of the guests could actually go and buy what they wanted at a nearby store or somewhere else."
“As for the accusations from relatives that if they had known about the absence of booze in advance, they wouldn't have come at all, then for all the joking tone, the statement looks offensive and inappropriate. It is all the more surprising that not only did the brother and mother not apologize later for their words, but they expected an apology from the hostess, who, judging by her own words, did her best to arrange a nice party. And you know what? I am in many ways happy for this girl that she will now live her life in her own house," Irina summarizes.
The commenters were also quite surprised (and judging by the words of some of them, "surprised" is too mild a word) at such behavior on the part of the OP's relatives, believing their actions and words to be completely entitled. "Your family is ungrateful as hell. You had one hell of a spread. I would have loved to come, with or without alcohol," one of the people wrote in the comments to the original post.
Moreover, some folks in the comments were representing England, where drinking, according to them, is part of their culture... well, even in England, the host would not have faced such a wave of criticism from their own family members for the lack of free booze at the party. Especially in their own house. Moreover, that early in the day. "It honestly sounds like your brother may have a drinking problem," one commenter ponders. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this? Was the original poster reasonable in not serving alcohol, or were her relatives just damn entitled?
However, most people in the comments sided with the author, claiming her relatives' behavior was ugly and rude
