“Being A Less-Than-Perfect Parent”: 50 Things Men Can Get Away With But Women Can’t, As Shared By People Online

If you're a woman, many of the responses on this list will come as no surprise to you. We tend to become desensitized to the double standards we encounter often because it's exhausting to expend energy being constantly frustrated about them or engaging in heated discussions with individuals who deny their existence. But it's important to keep talking about these issues to ensure that one day our children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren won't have to experience them.

To learn more about how this particular conversation started in the first place, we reached out to the Reddit user who invited others to share things that are socially acceptable for men to do but frowned upon when women do them, and he was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. "My main goal [when creating this post] was to find comebacks that use logic against transphobia," he shared.

And when it comes to how many of these inequalities he has seen first-hand, the OP said, "I haven’t really observed many of them in my lifetime, but they do bother me." He went on to suppose that people tend to underestimate one gender due to "traditional roles that are deeply rooted" in many of us.

We also reached out to Nandar, host of Feminist Talks With Nandar, to hear her thoughts on the topic. "I think it is important to also discuss what men are not taught to do that women are forced to do because both affect us negatively," she told Bored Panda. "I grew up in a small village in Shan State Myanmar with two brothers who had the freedom to do whatever they wanted to do when they wanted to. For example, I would have to help do the household chores after the school break, while my brothers would hang out with their friends or play football. I did not like doing household chores, but I had to. Why? 'Because I am a girl' was the answer to that and so many other questions."

"I was not allowed to go out at night or sleepover at a friend’s house when my brothers could," Nandar went on to share. "I was also not allowed to wear the clothes that I wanted to wear. One time, when I was wearing a short skirt up to my knees, my brother made me go change immediately. Since then, I stopped wearing short skirts for over a decade. After I got my first period, I was scolded by my uncle not to do any sports, because it is 'not appropriate for men to see a grown woman' do that. (This implies that my body is growing, and men won’t be able to control themselves around woman). I gave up doing anything jumpy or sporty from then on. Enjoying and liking sex is another huge taboo in our culture. If a man talks about how he likes sex and has done it, people praise him for it. But when a woman even slightly mentions that she is curious about sex, she becomes a slut in society’s definition."

"The world we live in, as of now, is deeply patriarchy, which means the rules are set by and for men to enjoy their full rights while controlling women’s choices and bodies as they please," Nandar went on to explain. "Of course, things are slowly progressing because of the feminist movement around the world. These double standards exists because men feel the need to control women’s lives, so that they can continue dominating in every aspects of their lives. It isn’t fair, and it is because of these kinds of injustices that feminism was born and feminists like us are continuing to fight for our human rights to remove the patriarchy system and build a fairer world."

When it comes to how we can dismantle the patriarchy and remove these double standards, Nandar says women should refuse to conform to these arbitrary expectations. "I used to follow all these norms and standards despite the fact that it was making me deeply unhappy and confused. I thought that conforming to the norms is the way to achieve being a ‘good girl’ because I wanted to matter in society, but gradually, because of access to the right education, I was enlightened enough not to do that," she noted.

"The double standards and cultures do not serve us in anyway. They don't give any benefits or rights to grow fully as a person. In order for one to live fully, one must exercise their rights fully," Nandar continued. "This applies to all genders. Men must learn to give up their entitlement over women’s choices and bodies and realize that [we] are not something for them to take control of. Unlearn and relearn how you define masculinity because that is what has often led men to think that they are in full control of women’s lives. Without both parties (men and women) participation, it won’t be possible to remove the double standards that have become [part of our] culture."

Nandar went on to share some wise words for women who are unfairly judged for these innocent actions. "This is advice I would give to my younger self: Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, even if people around you are making you feel bad for it," she told Bored Panda. "Be yourself. Stand up for what you believe, even if you are alone. Your voice matters. When you are standing up for yourself, you are standing up for generations of women before and after you. You may not know or feel like that right now, but it matters. Do and say what makes you feel best."

"Do not be afraid of question the norms," she continued. "The main reason these harmful ideas continue existing is because we don’t question them enough. When we question, we also make those who follow these ideas blindly think. Lastly, do not let anyone or any culture define you. What you do defines you, not your culture or your family. You can make the changes you wish to see."

Nandar also urges all of the men out there to be allies to women. "Don’t be silent when you see injustice," she says. "Don’t ignore or assume that you have nothing to do with it. You are part of the society and culture that harms women’s lives and choices, and you must stand up for them because you are on the other side of the coin. We need to hold hands and change the system, not let the system change us."

If you'd like to hear more words of wisdom from Nandar, be sure to check out her podcast, Feminist Talks With Nandar right here!