Cut it. Curl it. Comb it. Straighten. Shorten. Color. Braid.
All these possibilities are yours to take advantage of when it comes to hair. Whether you like it or not, our choice in hairstyle plays an important role in how people perceive us and, in many cases, how we feel about ourselves. Thus, a sudden change may make or break our confidence and self-image. Especially when it results from something as unpredictable as cancer.
Hair loss can be an embodiment of the grief, the fear, and the uncertainty which come with the diagnosis. One son decided to clear up some of those feelings by growing out his hair and donating it to make a special wig for his mom, who’d been undergoing radiation treatment since 2017.
Before we dive into the details of the story, dear Panda, I’d like to celebrate a tiny victory of my own - we hit 100 followers! Huge thanks to all of you who’ve been so supportive and lovely! Now let's explore the journey of Matt and Melanie Shaha.
Melanie Shaha lost her hair while undergoing radiation treatment for a brain tumor, but her son Matt decided to do something special for her
Image credits: Melanie Kimball Shaha
Melanie Shaha first found out she had a tumor in 2003 after suffering from dull headaches. Benign and located in the pituitary gland, a small, pea-sized gland located at the base of the brain, the tumor had grown to the size of a plum. "It’s not cancer but it is in the wrong place and smashes important things and can cause a host of very undesirable issues, including blindness and stroke," Melanie explained to Bored Panda.
She had surgery to remove it, but it was just the beginning of a difficult journey. The tumor returned in 2006, for which she had a second surgery.
When it returned for a third time in 2017, she had to undergo radiation treatment. "Surgery wasn’t recommended again because the tumor came back after 2 good surgeries. If you leave one tumor cell, the tumor will come back. And sometimes the tumor cells can be in the lining of the pituitary, so all of it can’t be removed," she explained. "The two surgeries made the pathway in complicated due to scar tissue, so we went with the recommendation for radiation. Radiation doesn’t remove the tumor but inhibits future growth - hopefully."
She’d been fighting the tumor since 2003, two surgeries seemingly taming it, yet once it returned in 2017, a different remedy was needed
Image credits: Mercedes Berg Photography
This in turn caused her to lose her golden locks, although doctors reassured her it wasn’t likely to happen. "I asked [my doctor], 'Will I lose my hair?' and they said 'No,'" Melanie recalled. "Three months later, I had a big shed and started losing hair. I was surprised."
The National Cancer Institute states that radiation therapy can cause hair loss on the part of the body that is being treated. Since it was a brain tumor, it’s surprising that the doctors didn’t prepare Melanie for the potential hair loss, as it can be quite emotionally disturbing.
Considering this, it may have been a means of preventing patient non-compliance with life-saving treatment. According to a study by R. M. Trüeb, approximately 10% of female patients will refuse chemotherapy because of the risk of hair loss, leading to poorer outcomes.
Celebrity hairstylist Martino Cartier stated that after working with over 1,000 women, often the fact that they’ll be losing their hair is "more traumatic than when [a woman] hears she has cancer." Hair contributes to our well-being and to a sense of who we are. It's a way to channel our emotions and influence the world's perception of us.
Considering his hair was the most similar to hers in both color and texture, Matt grew out his hair for two and a half years and made it into a $2,000 wig
Image credits: FOX 10 Phoenix
The effect of hair loss was a significant blow to Melanie’s self-esteem. "Not having hair, you stick out like a sore thumb and well-meaning people can say things that break your heart," she told Today. "I don’t mind being sick but I mind looking sick. I’d rather blend in and not stand out at the store." She also told Bored Panda that her natural hair isn't likely to grow back and the radiation treatment "killed the pituitary gland," making healing difficult.
"It's likely we are hardwired to feel emotionally connected to our hair," says psychologist Vivian Diller, PhD. "We've associated it with status, wealth, and royalty since ancient times. Thick, rich hair has always meant health, sensuality, and youth, so it continues to mean that to people today." The negative connotations revolving around baldness remain to this day, the word an antonym of everything beforementioned.
However, one of her 6 children, named Matt, decided to help his mom out with a very special wig made out of his own hair. Considering the fact that his hair was the most similar to Melanie’s in both color and texture, it was "a no-brainer" to him, although his mom protested. "She gave me the hair in the first place," he argued.
Image credits: Mercedes Berg Photography
"She gave me the hair in the first place," he argued, and although Melanie protested against it, she was moved to tears at the beautiful gift
Image credits: Mercedes Berg Photography
It took him two and half years to grow 12 inches of hair, and in March, 2022, he had it cut off. The day of the haircut was incredibly emotional for everyone, full of happy tears and gratitude. "We were super pumped and when they started cutting, we bawled," said Melanie. The locks were sent to Compassionate Creations in Newport Beach, California, where they were hand-stitched into a wig.
"The family was such a joy to work with," co-founder Veronica Balch told Today. "When someone selflessly shaves their head for a family member, it makes what we do even more special." Comfortable and light to wear, the wig cost Matt $2,000, but for those that can’t afford wigs themselves, there are charities and other nonprofit organizations that help cover the costs.
Their journey was captured in a series of photographs by Mercedes Berg and they speak louder than any words. She told Bored Panda that they started working together at Roots Management Group about a year ago and quickly became friends. "He learned that I was a freelance photographer and asked me to document his hair journey," she said.
She said in a Facebook post: "One of the first questions he asked me was, 'Mercedes, what products do you use on your hair to make it grow so fast?'" To be honest, we'd all like to know! "Every six months I get a Brazilian Blowout at Primp and Prime salon in Mesa, Arizona," Mercedes said. "This is semi-permanent protein treatment that significantly reduces the amount of heat damage I do to my hair styling it. With this treatment you have to use a sulfate-free shampoo and my favorite is Pulp Riot’s Shanghai and San Francisco."
The locks were sent to Compassionate Creations in Newport Beach, California, who hand-stitched the wig
Image credits: Matt Shaha
"Seeing her in it, it's the first time I had seen my mom look like that since she lost it, so it's been about four years," Matt told Fox 10, with Melanie dating back to Valentine's Day of 2018 as the last day she had hair.
"You know, I've lost my eyebrows, lost my eyelashes, I lost my hair, so it's just been such a tremendous gift to be able to have a more normal appearance, to go places and not stand out because you look unusual, but to fit in and be beautiful," Melanie said. "It's really great."
"My son’s generosity and kindness have meant the world to me. So lovely to see a son being selfless and compassionate. So heartwarming! And it reminds me to be thinking of others."
"It's just been such a tremendous gift to be able to have a more normal appearance, to fit in and be beautiful," Melanie said
Image credits: Mercedes Berg Photography
The road to healing and self-acceptance is still long but her faith and her family's support is keeping her spirits high. "I’m willing to be patient with what comes my way," Melanie said. "But I have not come to peace with such an altered appearance. Which is silly. What is, is!"
The American Cancer Society believes that preparation is the best means of dealing with hair loss. If it’s going to happen, it most often starts within 1 to 3 weeks of treatment and becomes more noticeable 1 to 2 months after starting therapy. The scalp may feel very sensitive to washing, combing, or brushing. But hair often starts to grow back even before treatment ends, although it may break easily at first.
Of course, there are multiple ways to cope with hair loss. Some choose to embrace the bare look. I, myself, would take the opportunity to get my scalp tattooed, but, of course, do so after the treatments are done so as to prevent infections. Others invest in gorgeous scarves and wigs. The freedom to wear whichever color and style you fancy on any given day is an incredible feat in itself!
Image credits: Matt Shaha
Mercedes believes that "your mom is the most important person in your world and when you think you’re going to lose her you would do anything to keep her." Sadly, she lost her mom in 2017. "When I first learned of Matt’s mom and what he was doing for her, I saw that same look in his eyes. A look you would only know if you lived it," she said.
"If this story can teach you anything, pick up the phone when your mom calls, hug her a little tighter when you see her, and share details of your life with her because all she wants to do is be involved."
We wish Melanie a smooth recovery and their whole family many beautiful summers together!
Image credits: Melanie Kimball Shaha
"Many things have not gone according to my plan. But I’m living a happy life. Love from family and friends makes for a blessed life," she said. We wish Melanie a smooth and quick recovery and for the tumor to never cause havoc in her life again!
If you’d like to consider donating your hair for wigs, make sure to double check the required lengths of the charity or company you use. Some ask for at least 7 inches (about 17 cm), while others ask for at least 14 inches (about 35cm). You can find more information here and here.
Let us know if you’d ever donate your hair or what route you’d take if faced with hair loss. Otherwise, I wish you all a glorious day!
People have loved this son’s thoughtful gift to his mom. Let us know your thoughts in the comments and if you’d ever donate your hair!
