Hosting Thanksgiving for your entire family is a ton of work. So, if you ask your loved ones not to eat something before everyone sits down at the dinner table, it should be a simple request. Unfortunately, for some hungry people, boundaries are optional.
One mom vented online about how her famished teenager ate a bunch of fancy meats and cheeses, including what was explicitly forbidden. The parent asked the AITA online community to weigh in on her dilemma, wondering whether she was wrong to demand that her son pay for another charcuterie board. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s reactions.
Thanksgiving dinner takes a lot of planning, time, and effort to get right. However, some people’s insatiable hunger can lead to unexpected drama
Image credits: berenice martinez (not the actual photo)
A mom decided to give her son a chance to make up for devouring everything on a fancy charcuterie board, despite being told what he couldn’t eat
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Weak_Sherbert426
The main issue isn’t just eating lots of meat and cheese, but rather the lack of respect for basic requests
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Having healthy boundaries is fundamentally important. They help keep your relationships happy and healthy, while also keeping your expectations for other people’s behavior very clear.
However, nobody is a mind reader. If you want people to respect your boundaries, you have to communicate what they are.
What’s more, you must be willing to follow through with any consequences that you set out if your boundaries continue to be ignored. Otherwise, they are useless.
That being said, it would be naive to think that teenagers won’t try to test your boundaries. They’re growing up, yearning for independence, and might want to rebel against your rules.
As a parent, you should want your kids to understand that respecting other people’s boundaries is the right way to go. That might require you to explain why mutual respect and basic adherence to rules are meant to be beneficial for everyone. (You may need to have this conversation again and again and again, until the message sticks.)
When you set very clear expectations for your kids’ behavior, there’s no fuzziness about what is and isn’t allowed. There’s no gray area when you label some Thanksgiving food as not to be eaten!
And if you’re fair with the consequences for your teen breaking the rules (for instance, paying for a new charcuterie board or working to make up for the devoured goodies), it becomes an educational moment, instead of punishment.
Boundaries are vital for healthy family relationships. They help you set crystal-clear expectations
Image credits: Alex Guillaume (not the actual photo)
According to Verywell Health, when you set boundaries, you need to:
- Firstly, determine what your needs and limits are in that particular relationship
- Start small and focus on a single boundary at a time, as setting them can be uncomfortable
- Practice setting boundaries alone if you’re particularly nervous about doing it
- Clearly communicate your needs and limits
- Keep your boundaries simple, instead of overloading others with lots of different needs
Someone who sets healthy boundaries is an individual who is very transparent about their wants and needs, is able to say ‘no,’ accepts someone else saying ‘no,’ and respects other people’s needs as they do their own.
On top of that, they are also flexible when needed, while also not compromising their values.
On the flip side, a person who has unhealthy boundaries tends to say ‘yes’ to things they don’t want or need, compromises their personal values to satisfy others, behaves manipulatively toward others, overshares personal info, and gives others the ‘silent treatment’ instead of explaining why they’re upset.
But what do you think, Pandas? How would you have handled the situation if one of your loved ones ate something you told them not to touch? How do you avoid Thanksgiving and family drama? Have you ever eaten something during the holidays that your loved ones specifically asked you not to touch? Let us know in the comments below!
Here's what internet users had to say about the family Thanksgiving drama
