As a young person, life can sometimes be incredibly hard since everyone else always seems to be making decisions for you. When parents or guardians go overboard trying to control their child’s life, it can cause a lot of stress and also fracture their relationship.
This is what one man faced because his toxic stepdad went to extreme lengths to make him break up with his girlfriend and also kicked him out of the house over it. This led to a huge fight between them and also showed the man where his family’s loyalty lay.
More info: Reddit
When loved ones keep using threats or ultimatums to try and get their way, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored
Image credits: Anna Tolipova / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that he lied in order to drive 1.5 hours to meet his girlfriend, and when his toxic stepdad found out, he took his belongings and insulted his partner
Image credits: katemangostar / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster’s girlfriend said he could move in with her mom if needed, and meanwhile the man had to deal with his stepdad taking his phone and forcing him to break up with her
Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Since the young guy refused to end his relationship, he was kicked out, and he then walked 2 miles to the police station for help and to contact his girlfriend
Image credits: Gabriel Hohol / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The cops confronted his toxic family and helped the poster move into a hotel for a while; he also later shifted to his girlfriend’s mom’s place and changed his number
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Later on, the young man went home to retrieve his documents and belongings, and had a heartfelt conversation with his mom about why he couldn’t be around his stepdad
Image credits: simonapilolla / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster’s mom and grandmother tried to convince him not to leave home, but the man knew it was better to go away and start working so that he didn’t have to be a burden on anyone
Image credits: minxsus
The young guy later received three emails from family asking how he was managing, and his stepdad tried to guilt him into moving back by saying how heartbroken his mom was
The poster explained that he had been dealing with his stepdad’s manipulative and selfish behavior for the past 4 years, which had caused him a lot of trauma. Since they always seemed to be butting heads, the older man had also kicked the OP out of their house twice and forced him to fend for himself.
According to professionals, in situations where family members are very controlling or dominating, it’s important to focus on yourself and protect your own mental health. This can help you stay strong in the face of manipulation or toxicity, and can also have a positive effect on your wellbeing over time.
It seems like the OP did just that by focusing more on his healthy relationship with his girlfriend, that was, until his stepdad started taking issue with that too. The older man lectured the poster for 2 hours, took his keys, watch, and phone, and also kicked him out of the house because he didn’t want to break up with his partner.
It can be extremely difficult to deal with a forceful parent like this, and relationship experts explain that ill-treatment can have negative effects on a person’s emotional and mental health. It can also make young people feel fearful and distrustful, and withdraw, as they know that any behavior can provoke a negative reaction.
Image credits: pvproductions / Magnific (not the actual photo)
After the poster was kicked out and his stuff was taken away, he walked 2 miles to the police station in the dark just to use their phone. He then called his girlfriend to tell her he was okay, and she helped him set up a debit card so he could access some money. She also told him he could move in with her mom for shelter in the meantime.
This situation led to the cops getting involved, and they told the OP’s family that they were not legally allowed to kick him out of the house, and that all his personal belongings should be returned. Luckily, the officers were able to let the poster stay in a hotel so that he could be safe and away from his stepdad’s clutches.
Sometimes people stay in toxic families because they feel guilty to leave or think they are letting their loved ones down, but research shows that that is not the case. In fact, when people cut controlling folks out of their lives, it can protect their peace and might also give their other family members the courage to do the same.
In this case, the OP eventually moved in with his partner’s mother, and he only went home once to collect his documents. That’s when he felt guilty about leaving his mom behind, especially since she sometimes fell ill. He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing by going away, but he knew it would help protect his mental health.
What do you think is the best way for the young man to handle this complicated situation? We’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions, if any.
Netizens were shocked by the stepdad’s dominating behavior, and felt that the poster did the right thing by leaving despite his mom’s
