When people have kids, they almost always want to give them the best life possible, even if life deals them cards that make this goal rather challenging. However, it's easy to forget that kids, too, want what's best for their parents, which can lead to some unexpectedly wholesome turns.
A story just like this happened to one Redditor a couple of years ago. Being a single father with no education, the man was struggling to make ends meet and couldn't take his son to the restaurant they used to go to on almost all of their special occasions. Little did he know that this never slipped his son's attention, and his son was saving up so that they could still go. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Being a single parent is challenging, which makes it easy to forget that even though you don't have a co-parent, there's someone who will always have your back
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A man had his son when he was just 16 and dropped out of school to work and raise his kid
Image credits: StockSnap (not the actual photo)
He didn't make a lot, but he could provide everything that his son needed and even took him out on special occasions
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
However, with their rent suddenly increasing, the man was struggling to make ends meet and could no longer really treat his kid, even on his birthdays
Image credits: LilBuddy272
The kid saved up enough to take both of them to the all-you-can-eat buffet that they used to go to, which made the dad super emotional and motivated to improve both their lives
The OP had his son, whom, for the sake of this story, he decided to call Rory, when he was just 16. But as if this situation wasn't difficult enough, the boy's mother left them when the child was only 2, and the man lost the case for child support when the judge sided with the mother, telling the dad to step up. Ever since then, it has been just the two of them.
Regrettably, the man dropped out of school to take care of his son, and he was stuck working at McDonald's, where, despite being a manager, he wasn't making all that much money. Although small, that income was enough for them to get by and have some left until, during Covid, their rent was unreasonably increased.
Now, struggling to make ends meet, the OP could provide just enough to fulfill his and Rory's basic needs, and things like going to the Golden Corral, where the duo used to go every birthday and on other special occasions, was simply out of the question.
However, what the poster didn't realize was that despite being only 7 years old, his son never forgot about their trips that brought him so much joy. He collected all the tips that his dad got at work and put them in his money jar for safekeeping, just so the two of them could go to their loved all-you-can-eat buffet on the boy's birthday.
Rory was very excited about finally having saved enough, but when the father found out about it, his heart broke. He felt guilty that he wasn't able to give his child everything that he wanted, but at the same time, he felt motivated to go and finish his education so that the future would be brighter for both of them.
First thing in the morning, the duo headed straight to the bank to exchange all those coins for cash. Next, despite the boy's birthday being the next month, they headed straight for the Golden Corral and treated themselves to a nice meal, with the OP promising to learn to save better and take Rory out more often.
The commenters were really moved by the story. They encouraged the author to be proud of the child instead of beating himself up over not being able to provide enough, suggested various ways they could have these occasions more often, and offered their opinion of the author's question of how to say 'no' to their child.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Children's Psychologist Francyne Zeltser explained that solo parenting is difficult due to having to solve problems without help, but it also often makes the parent-child bond stronger
Whether by choice or by circumstances, there are many single parents out there who struggle to give their children the best life possible. Looking to get a better insight into how this all works and how to make it better, Bored Panda reached out to a children's psychologist, Dr. Francyne Zeltser, who was happy to weigh in.
The expert began by saying that while different single parents may face different situations, there's one common challenge -- they all parent solo. This means that they often have to struggle with "independent problem solving and/or making judgment calls on their own without a parenting partner to brainstorm with and/or get feedback from."
Francyne compared this situation to working on a group project. In the case of both parents, they usually work together or divide and conquer to get this job done. However, here, the single parent is mostly the sole contributor and has no one to help them with the task or take over when they need a break, which is why people like the OP may turn to complete strangers online for advice that co-parents tend to get from each other.
When it comes to the child's point of view, there are also plenty of challenges they might have to face. A few examples could be financial limitations, enrolling in childcare programs earlier than their peers, and having to spend more time alone while their parent is at work.
However, at the same time, there is a pretty nice upside to it all. "Many children of single parents feel fortunate to have a close, trusting relationship with their only parent, sometimes, more so than children of two parents," said the psychologist, adding that just like the OP and his son, they often share the "in it together" or "us against the world" mentality, which only helps them grow closer.
Lastly, coming to the question that the author asked other Redditors at the end of his post, Francyne explained that while every situation is different and ongoing, open and honest communication is the key that helps parents explain, children understand, and everybody maintain mutual trust and respect.
"The parent should do their best to explain the 'why' factually, at a developmentally appropriate level," summarized the expert, adding that while a younger child may not understand budget constraints as well as an older one, doing this is important nonetheless.
Ultimately, we can't really choose what life we get. But whatever cards we're dealt, it's always wise to try and make the most of them. And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation and need inspiration, just think of the OP and Rory and remember that you're never truly alone.
The commenters were very moved by the story and didn't hesitate to share some nice words and useful advice with the author
