Teen years can be tough on kids and parents both. On one hand, the teen is going through profound physiological changes. On the other, parents are getting to grips with a child who doesn’t seem to be ‘theirs’ anymore.
One woman is having such a problem with her daughter that she’s turned to netizens for advice. According to the woman, her teen has ASD and ADHD and won’t stop kicking up a fuss about moving rooms, leaving her at a loss for what to do.
More info: Mumsnet
The teen years can be testing, and this woman’s oldest daughter seems intent on proving the point
Image credits: Anna Tolipova / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her younger daughter and son have shared a room for two-and-a-half years, but the woman has plans to change the arrangement
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she told her oldest daughter, a 14-year-old teen with ASD and ADHD, she’s going to have to give up her room to her younger sister, the teen flew into a rage
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
No matter what the woman says, her oldest daughter kicks off, leaving her feeling quite intimidated and unsure how to handle the situation
Image credits: Bettycrocker7
At a loss for what to do next, or how to persuade her oldest daughter the planned living arrangements are the best for everyone in the family, she turned to netizens for help
OP begins her story by telling the community that she and her family live in a 3-bedroomed semi with no option to move, extend, or even convert the attic. She goes on to add that she and her husband share a room, her 13-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son also share a room, while her eldest daughter has her own one.
According to OP, a couple years back her son had his own room, and the girls shared one but her eldest daughter was a nightmare to share with, so the arrangement changed to give her her own room. This seemed to keep the peace, for a while, at least. OP adds that now, though, her 13-year-old needs her own room, too.
OP offered to split the shared room into two - one for her eldest daughter and one for her son - but when she mentioned the idea to her eldest, she had an absolute meltdown.
The beleaguered mom tells the readers that her son and her eldest have ASD and ADHD and are both night owls, while her youngest daughter is a creature of routine and prefers to be in bed by 10PM every night.
OP says that, while the family has always prioritized the needs of the eldest daughter, she feels it’s time she learns how to compromise. She concludes her post by asking whether or not she’s being unreasonable in expecting the tempestuous teen to move rooms for everyone’s benefit.
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The emotional roller coaster that comes with adolescence can be a topsy-turvy ride. OP’s case is further complicated by the fact that her eldest lives with ASD and ADHD, a challenging combination to cope with, even for adults. If you have either, or both, of these conditions, you can probably relate.
So, how can OP help her dysfunctional daughter come around to the new living arrangement? We went looking for answers.
In her article for Parents, Amy Morin says common reasons for teenage mood swings can include hormonal changes, the quest to establish their identity, stress, and struggles with neurodiversity.
According to a 2021 U.S. Surgeon General's report, young people are facing a mental health crisis, one which may have "devastating" effects.
The Boomerang Counselling Center website suggests some realistic parenting strategies for children with ADHD and autism. A few of these include providing visual support, developing self-expression and communication skills, setting up a lenient home environment, and assigning your child small tasks before tackling bigger ones.
In her article for Healthline, Eloise Porter puts forward some strategies for parenting a child with ADHD. For starters, a parent can decide which behaviors are acceptable to them and which are not. They can also define the rules while allowing some flexibility, simplify and organize their child’s life, and help regulate their child’s sleeping patterns.
Maybe if the eldest daughter got some more sleep, she wouldn't be too grumpy to see that the planned move makes the most sense.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think the tense teen is justified in her reactions, or should her mom just parent up? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers told the woman that her daughter needed to understand that she is the parent and recommended she lay down the law once and for all
Image credits: Another2Cats
