Online dating is hard, and even when someone seems great on their profile, conversations can quickly take a strange and uncomfortable turn if you match with them.
So when Reddit user SherbetOld7724 met a guy on Tinder who seemed thoughtful, funny, and easy to talk to, it felt like a breath of fresh air.
Pretty soon, they went on a romantic date he had planned, and everything was going well—until he had to step away to take a call.
The promising night then turned into a tense standoff in an empty parking lot, and the creep wouldn’t leave the woman alone in the weeks that followed.
A blind date is the ultimate roll of the dice
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And for this woman, it ended in a way she never saw coming
When it was time to say goodbye, the guy behaved like a total creep
Image credits: francescosgura / envato (not the actual photo)
Even though the woman blocked him on every platform she could think of, he kept finding ways to contact her
How to handle a bad date
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / unspplash (not the actual photo)
Counselor and somatic therapist Kimberly Lee says radical honesty and gentle kindness go a long way when you need to leave an uncomfortable date, not just for them but for you too. Here are her tips on how to implement them:
- Tell them as soon as you can gather the courage to have the hard conversation. The sooner the better.
- Thank them for their time and let them know you’re not interested in pursuing anything further.
- If they ask why, be honest but kind, and keep it to yourself so it’s not about them — because it’s not about them, it is about your decision. Lee herself usually says something like, “I’m not feeling the chemistry I’m looking for,” which, according to her, is almost always the reason she ends a date early or doesn’t see the person again.
- Avoid trying to ‘soften the blow’ by saying things you don’t mean, such as “maybe we can be friends” (you don’t need more friends!), or “yes, see you again soon” (because you don’t want to and you won’t, and that’s a lie), or “I had a great time” when you didn’t because you both know you didn’t.
- Stay with your truth as much as possible, and know you don’t need to concoct some story about having to be somewhere urgently for an emergency. Rather, have the class thank them for their time and excuse yourself from the situation without fuss or lies.
- Remember, it’s dating. It’s the process of auditioning potential people you want to share time and space with, so take your time and stay connected with yourself and what you want. There are no obligations during the dating process, and remember, you’re allowed to change your mind. Part of this process is also having some uncomfortable conversations, and if you can’t have them now, don’t wait until you’re years into the relationship, hating yourself for not speaking up earlier.
“There’s no reason to have a ‘bad date,’ even if you're not into them or something goes left field,” Lee says. “Whatever you choose, and whatever happens, keep perspective and practice being gentle and kind with yourself.”
As the woman’s story went viral, she provided more information in the comments
And people had a lot of strong reactions to it
Soon after, the woman came back with an update
Image credits: SherbetOld7724
And it wasn’t the end of it
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SherbetOld7724
People told her she shouldn’t normalize the guy’s behavior
And the final woman’s update revealed they were right
Image credits: cottonbro studio / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SherbetOld7724
Not being able to find someone who measures up is actually a big reason why so many people are single
Exact numbers might be different depending on where exactly you look, but in the United States, for example, 30 percent of singles say that not being able to find someone who meets their expectations is a major reason they are not dating.
Women cite this as a factor far more often than men do—nearly four in 10 (38 percent) compared to less than one in four (23 percent)—say an inability to find someone who meets their expectations is a major reason they are not putting themselves out there.
This is especially true for college-educated women (45 percent), while only 28 percent of their peers without a degree feel the same. (The education gap is slightly smaller among men. One-third (33 percent) of college-educated men claim not finding someone who meets their standards is a major factor for them, compared to 19 percent of noncollege-educated men.)
Another popular reason single Americans give includes having more important priorities in their life (36 percent). Again, single women are much more likely than single men to claim this is a major reason they are not dating (45 percent vs. 29 percent, respectively).
People were glad to hear the woman was safe
