In some families, it’s pretty normal for the parents to charge their older children some amount of rent when they come of age. This can be a symbolic sum to teach them about budgeting or real money that goes towards running a household. But certain households end up taking it way too far.
An eighteen-year-old young adult turned to the Internet for advice when his stepfather started demanding what came out to 95% of his income for rent. People did their best to provide him with some advice on how to get out of this pretty unfavorable situation. We also got in touch with throwawaybeardAITA to learn more.
Some parents do ask their adult children for rent if they stay in their homes
Image credits: IrynaKhabliuk (not the actual photo)
But one young man decided that 95% of his paycheck was a simply unreasonable amount
Image credits: daniskim (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawaybeard
Living with one’s parents is slowly becoming more common
Image credits: Feedyourvision (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with throwawaybeardAITA and he was kind enough to share a quick update on his situation. "I moved out around a year ago for unrelated reasons, if the kids are over 18 and out of high school, then I'm okay with parents wanting their kids to pay rent. Of course, the amount varies by situation. Honestly, I'm sort of glad that everyone thought I was NTA because I thought the amount my stepdad was asking for was absurd."
It’s steadily becoming more and more common for people to live with their parents later in life. Increasing costs of living and accommodation, the ability to work remotely, and just generally changing standards have all contributed to this. While OP’s case is also very common, there is a growing trend for people to return to their childhood homes after spending some time elsewhere.
Researchers call this particular cohort the boomerang generation. In Canada, the number of returnees to their parents has been growing, while in the US, it has remained relatively steady, around 10-15%. It’s worth noting that in some cultures, this isn’t just normal, but expected and people only leave the house when they are married.
Regardless of the reasons, the result is the slow and steady stigmatization of living with your parents. What might have been a punchline in a 1980 sitcom is now just reality, as rent and housing prices remain unaffordable for people. This isn’t to say that most people prefer to live with their parents, even OP plans to leave, rather, the financial barriers to exit are simply higher these days.
It doesn’t look like the stepfather actually needs the other half of OP’s income
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Some commenters suggest that this is a not-too-subtle attempt to entrap OP. Because he is bringing in regular income, the parents might want to keep him around as long as possible. By leaving him with this little money, OP has no way to develop the savings he needs to leave. At the same time, he does need food and shelter, so he isn’t just going to be homeless.
OP also notes some disturbing additional demands, like the pressure that he shaves his beard. Particularly since he is a legal adult, there is no reason the stepfather should be making this sort of demand. While OP does not elaborate on the relationship with his mother, it’s surprising that she doesn’t seem to be offering any real measure of support for him. This could be due to her limited financial resources at the moment, but either way, she really should stand by her son.
Readers did their best to offer advice and support. At eighteen, it might be hard to realize exactly what the stepfather is planning, particularly if you have never lived in the real world. After all, our rent, generally, isn’t directly based on our income, so the stepfather is absolutely attempting to manipulate OP.
There are some decent reasons to continue to live with your parents
Image credits: Maryia Plashchynskaya (not the actual photo)
However, if the parents are less toxic than in OP’s case, there are some strong arguments to be made for staying with them into adulthood. First and foremost, even if they do charge rent, it’s almost never going to be the market price of an equivalent space. The result is that a person can save up money for an education, a vehicle, or even a down payment on a home, depending on their situation.
However, in the long run, most people, OP included, would prefer independence, something that should be encouraged. Realistically, the stepfather is in the wrong, particularly as OP’s biological mother doesn’t seem to be quite involved enough. Hopefully, OP can find a way out of this situation and start his life properly.
Some readers wanted more info about OP's situation
Most thought he was absolutely NTA and thought the stepfather was being ridiculous
