It just so happens that very often, parents' remarriages after divorce lead to the fact that children stay in very tense relationships with their step-parents. And, accordingly, with step-siblings as well. And it doesn't actually matter how old the child was at the time of the parents' divorce, it nearly always goes very painfully.
This tale from user u/mooniechild2025, whose parents divorced when the girl was nine, was no exception. No, she didn't have serious problems in her relationship with her dad’s new family—she just didn't consider them her relatives from the first days of their life together. And she carried this feeling through the years to the present day.
More info: Reddit
The author's parents divorced when she was a kid, and her father later remarried a woman with 3 daughters, adopting them all
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the author's relationships with the step-family were always quite tense, despite their attempts to become close with her
Image credits: mooniechild2025
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author is 27YO now, married, and has kids, and she maintains relationships with her dad's family only to let him communicate with their grandkids
Image credits: mooniechild2025
Image credits: Norma Mortenson / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Recently, they spoke about changes in his will over the phone, and the daughter said she doesn't consider her stepmom and stepsisters her "real family"
Image credits: mooniechild2025
It turned out that her stepmom heard her words—and the real family drama ensued
The story we are going to tell you today began many years ago when the parents of the Original Poster (OP) divorced, and her father remarried another woman, thus adopting her 3 daughters. All three were slightly older than our heroine, who is now 27, and despite the stepmom and stepsisters’ numerous attempts to befriend her, the author never considered them her family.
Five years ago, the author’s mom passed away, and since then, the woman has maintained contact with her father’s new family for her dad only, so that he can see his grandchildren (our heroine is married and has kids). No, the stepmom and her sisters aren’t bad people at all - it’s just the way things turned out.
So, when the father recently called and told her that he and his wife were planning to change their will so that their house and his late parents’ house (one of the stepsisters with her family now lives there) would go to all four children in equal shares, she wasn’t happy about it, preferring to buy out her share. The OP told her father all of this honestly, admitting that she doesn’t consider his wife and her daughters her “real family.”
And, it turned out that at the time, the father was in the car with his wife, and put the daughter on the car's speaker. So, the stepmom actually heard these words, which, of course, were not intended for her ears. And now, all of the OP's relatives on her father's side are incredibly upset and outraged, literally flooding her phone with calls and texts.
She, in turn, doesn’t want to communicate with them—despite her father's persuasion. The author’s husband and his family are completely on our heroine's side, but the situation, you must agree, looks quite unpleasant in any case. So, the original poster took it online seeking support.
Image credits: dusanpetkovic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Nobody, by and large, should impose themselves on other people as family, friends and so on—only by mutual consent, and only in the case of mutual sympathy," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. "So I can perfectly understand the emotions and experiences of this woman."
"Yes, it turned out being not very polite—but her father should have warned her that he put the conversation on speakerphone and that he was not alone in the car. After all, it is one thing to say some things in a one-on-one conversation, and quite another when you know that other people can hear you.
"By and large, the most important thing here is to find a common language again with the only person on that side of the family who is important to this woman, her dad. Explain to him that she lives her own life, and he is important to her, not his new family. They can just be acquaintances, but not necessarily close relatives. And yes—she definitely needs to talk about this only in private," Irina notes.
People in the comments also admit that it became a little awkward, but no one has the right to tell a person who to consider family and relatives—and who not to. People are quite sure that the main thing in this situation would be to mend fences with the author’s dad. And, of course, then get her share of inheritance bought out to avoid many possible problems later. And what do you think about this, our dear readers?
Most commenters, however, sided with the author, claiming that no one should impose themselves as a family on others
