Blended families can be tricky at the best of times, especially when stepmoms who were ‘the other woman’ try to bond with the kids whose lives they turned upside down. After all, they started from a place of deception, so why should it be easy for them?
One teen whose stepmom was actually her late mother’s best friend before she had an affair with the teen’s dad decided to get her own back by excluding her from a prom dress shopping trip. Now her dad is furious and she’s wondering if she’s a jerk.
More info: Reddit
Blended family life can be rough, as this teen decided to show her entitled stepmom
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her stepmom had had an affair with her dad when she was 5, tearing her and her mom’s life apart
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the teen’s mom passed away a few years later, she was forced to move in with her dad and the traitorous woman
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the teen turned 17, her stepmom wanted to take her prom dress shopping, but she sidestepped the request, going with friends and some of her bio family instead
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When her stepmom saw who the teen was shopping with on her socials, she was furious, leading the teen to get a lashing from her dad
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The teen has since turned to the internet to ask whether or not excluding her stepmom from the shopping trip made her a jerk
After OP’s life was torn apart by betrayal, she never forgot who caused the pain. Her mom’s best friend “Jen” turned out to be her dad’s secret lover - and the mother of his other children. When the truth came out, everything imploded. OP’s mom divorced her dad, cut off Jen, and passed away just a few years later.
Forced to live with her dad and Jen, OP grew up in a household built on lies. Despite Jen’s attempts to bond, she kept her distance, feeling disloyal to her late mom and uncomfortable around the woman who helped ruin her family. OP’s dad tried to make peace over the years, but the damage was deep and lasting.
Now 17, OP moved out to live with her maternal grandparents. Jen, however, never gave up on playing “second mom” - even hoping for a magical prom dress shopping trip. OP sidestepped any conflict by saying she’d go with friends, but when she was spotted with her aunts and grandma too, Jen was livid.
OP ignored her angry calls and texts until her dad stepped in, saying she was cruel for punishing Jen. He accused her of clinging to bitterness and claimed the rest of the family “failed” her by refusing to get along. OP doesn’t see it that way. She just can’t pretend love fixes everything and turned to an online community for advice.
From what OP tells us in her post, her stepmother not only refuses to express regret for her homewrecking past, she actually seems to feel entitled to bio mom benefits too. Is there any hope of her creating the bond she so desperately wants with OP? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
First off, let’s put ourselves in OP’s shoes. Her dad’s demanding that she forget the past, forgive her stepmother, and move on as one happy family - is that even reasonable? In her article for VeryWellMind, Brittany Loggins writes that there are times when it’s perfectly fine not to forgive someone.
Two examples include if you’re still feeling the effects of their actions, or if you feel that the person does not respect your boundaries.
In her article for Parents, Kate Bayless suggests several things a stepparent should absolutely steer clear of. Some of these include never trying to take the other parent’s place, never assuming a position of authority, and never pressuring your partner to put you first. It would seem OP’s stepmom is getting it all wrong.
Perhaps it’s time for her to accept that she’s never going to have the picture-postcard family she thought she would and stop pestering OP for bio mom perks. After all, she’s the only one to blame for all the resentment. Well, her and OP’s cheating dad.
Do you think OP was out of line like her dad says she was? What would you have done if you’d been in her shoes? Let us know in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed that the teen was definitely not the jerk in the situation and that that label belonged to her duplicitous dad and homewrecking stepmom
