Dating is no joke – if you ask anyone who partakes in it, they'll probably start going off about how difficult it can be. And it all comes down to the fact that we as people are complicated. Some of us have expectations that are too high. Others are just generally not nice or kind, or are manipulative people.
Just like this dude from today's story. When he first met the author of the original post, he seemed nice enough to write off some of his red flags. And then his messages started coming in...
More info: Reddit
Dating is not easy – anyone could tell you that
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In today's story, a woman met a guy who initially seemed nice, so she gave him her number
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Or at least he seemed nice enough for her to brush off certain red flags she noticed
Image credits: Striking_Catch_5757
Image credits: ollyy / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But then the next morning, his messages started flooding in, and when we say this, we mean it – there were a lot of them, and they showed a rather manipulative side of his personality
He then started trying to coordinate a date with her, sent some random songs, and then started crashing out by overexplaining his weird behavior and wondering why she wasn't replying
Image credits: Striking_Catch_5757
After seeing such an emotional rollercoaster taking place in her DMs, she decided to block the dude
One day, the OP was hanging out in a bar, where she met a nice guy. Since she had to leave for a party, she couldn’t hang out with him too long, so instead she just gave him her number so they could contact each other later on. While the guy initially seemed nice, if you really think about it, there were some red flags from the beginning.
For instance, when the woman gave him her number, she noticed that his phone had only a few contacts. But she wrote it off as being a new device and him not having his contacts transferred. Then, when giving him the phone back, she noticed that he had a second phone in his other hand. This kind of sounded an alarm of suspicion in her head – maybe he was not single? But she brushed it off.
She suggested they should get breakfast together the next morning and left for the party she was supposed to go to. The next morning, she woke up to him reaching out to her. And it wasn’t a mere message or two – it was a whole thread of them.
As some netizens pointed out, this dude basically lived through a whole relationship with himself in the chat. As you can see in the screenshots, the guy pressed the OP to set the time for their breakfast date, then asked random questions about her, and sent her songs. Then he started explaining his questionable behavior and reassuring her that he’s “single by choice.” Just an emotional rollercoaster of messages.
Well, looking at this whole situation, it just seems like another instance of “nice guy syndrome” playing out in real life. If you have never heard about this term, don’t get it confused with actual decent dudes. The point here is that the so-called “nice guy” is actually not so nice – they just put on the “nice” act to be manipulative.
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In some cases, they actually believe they’re being nice, but their actions and their results might tell a different story. Some say that a good representation of such an example is Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother. He believes that he’s just a guy chasing love, but many of his actions come off as manipulative in a way.
Basically, how the "nice guy" manipulates women is by "buttering them up" by pretending to be their friend or just a better person than they actually are. Then, when the "right" time comes, they expect to have accumulated enough brownie points to be owed romantic attention.
If such a scheme doesn't work, they start blaming women by saying something along the lines of "I’m such a nice guy! Why does no one give me a chance?" or just straight-up insulting other men, who "aren't like him."
The dude from today’s story is an interesting case of the “nice guy” in that he shot himself in the foot while trying to keep up the act. He started off trying to be pleasant, even though he was kinda going a little overboard. His mask started to slip when he started slightly crashing out when she didn’t answer, and then he tried to justify his weird behavior. That’s more suspicious than nice, isn’t it?
So, we wouldn’t blame the OP for not replying to him. Would you? We’re eager to hear your opinions in the comments!
That's why neither netizens nor we would judge the woman for never replying to a guy like that
