A neighborhood is unimaginable without children. The playing, the laughter, and their shrieks of joy really bring it to life. However, not every parent teaches their kids to be respectful towards neighbors and their boundaries, which can lead to them causing quite the trouble.
Just like what happened to this guy, whose Koi pond was damaged by a trespassing kid who fell into it. Instead of apologizing or trying to contribute to the $5,000 damages, his mom demanded that the neighbor cover his medical bills for a few scratches, which pushed him to take more extreme measures.Â
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Bryan de Justin, couples, children, and family coach, and the host of the Love & Balance with Bryan de Justin podcast, who kindly agreed to share a few tips on how to raise kids as good neighbors.
Kids in the neighborhood can make it more lively and fun
Image credits: Anna Sulliva (not the actual photo)
However, this one stirred up trouble after trespassing his neighbor's property
Image credits: Daniele La Rosa Messina (not the actual photo)
Image source: DMLives
"Children should be instructed by their parents to respect their neighbours' boundaries"
Image credits: Kiko Camaclang (not the actual photo)
"Children should be instructed by their parents to respect their neighbours' boundaries so that these behaviours solidify early on," says couples, children, and family coach Bryan de Justin.
"At the age of 4-6, children begin to experience the world beyond the home. They are discovering that the world outside of their home is not the same as the one within. This age, thus, is marked by an increase in experimentation. Children, at this age, invade boundaries because, in order to discover they are there, one needs to offend them in the first place," Justin explains.
Therefore, parents need to teach their children how to respect the property of others if they want them to be good neighbors in the future. "Before they worry about how they will instruct their children, however, parents should first work on instructing themselves," the coach notes. Indeed, leading by example is often the best way to instill certain behaviors in children.
In addition to that, caregivers can teach their kids about literal and figurative boundaries. Explaining where the property ends and why they should be considerate of others' needs helps them be respectful and understand their limits better.Â
Parents should take the time and teach their children to respect their neighbors
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
But if it so happens that a neighbor isn't particularly happy with a child's behavior, Justin suggests that the kid should take on the responsibility as an adult would. "Every slip-up should be utilized as an opportunity to grow," he said.
"The child should be present when such complaints are made and should be expected to explain themselves. If punishment is deemed appropriate, they should be made notified by the parent in front of the complaining neighbour. If reparations are able to be made, the child should do it."
If any damages are involved that require monetary compensation, Justin says that the kid should be encouraged to complete chores or work until they pay off the debt. "This way, they learn to respect property and work," he says.
"No matter what, however, the child should always be heard and should not be presumed guilty by default," Justin notes.
Lastly, the coach concludes by saying, "Parents should teach their children the fundamentals of emotional intelligence, the importance of honesty, and how to be an open communicator. Again, the challenge arises not in teaching these skills to children, but rather, in teaching them to ourselves. Children reveal more about us than we realize. Thus, we should first ask ourselves, 'What is my child trying to teach me?' before saying, 'What should I teach my child?"
The readers were on the original poster's side
