When I was a pre-schooler, my own birthday was always a real challenge for me. No, I loved gifts and congratulations - but instead of my friends, my mom always invited her friends - and I was lucky if they brought their own children with them. Otherwise, it was a feast for adults, where a kid was simply a reason to get together, nothing more.
As it turns out, different people experience similar problems, but the heroine of this story of ours, the user u/Arihana_K, is a teen whose mother’s adult friends actually ruined her 18th birthday. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a teen who recently turned 18 and she wanted to celebrate this milestone with friends only
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
However, the girl's mom insisted she invite adult guests as well
Image credits: u/Arihana_K
The mom was the one who paid for everything, so she literally imposed her own friends as guests
Image credits: oojeyboojey (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Arihana_K
The birthday was almost ruined for the teen because of the adult guests and one of their unruly kids
Image credits: John Lambert Pearson (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Arihana_K
After the party, the birthday girl was upset - but her mom told the daughter she was being 'ungrateful'
So our story begins with the fact that the Original Poster (OP) recently turned 18 and, like almost every teenager, she wanted to celebrate the milestone birthday with her friends and peers. However, as they say, whoever pays calls the tune - and the girl’s mother paid for organizing the party.
Thus, the teen was faced with the fact that her mom's adult friends would inevitably be present at her b-day party - perhaps with their own kids. The only condition that the birthday girl managed to negotiate for herself was that the adults would arrive at 12 pm, and the youngsters would show up two hours later.
As you probably already guessed, when it comes to guests with kids, no one is ever on time. As a result, friends of the mother and daughter showed up at about the same time - and the girl had practically no opportunity to hang out with her peers. And then the 6 Y.O. daughter of one of the mother’s buddies intervened...
The author says that the girl almost didn't leave her side throughout the entire party, and the parents first persuaded her to let their offspring cut the birthday cake (okay, let it be...), and then demanded that the birthday girl turn off her favorite music and put on some children's song for their daughter to 'show her dance...'
It all ended with the child wiping her cake-stained hands on the tablecloth, and her snot on the birthday girl’s brand new dress (a birthday present, by the way...). If you were expecting a surge of emotions at this moment, you're definitely mistaken. Any stone statue can boast of the patience of this teen!
The OP calmly (although a real volcano was seething in her soul) endured until the end of the party, politely said goodbye to all the guests - and only when she was left alone with her parents (okay, alone with her mom, because the girl’s dad, in her own words, was very drunk since the very beginning of the party), our heroine burst into tears about her ruined birthday.
Do you think that the mom consoled her daughter? If yes, then you're wrong for the second time. The mother said that her daughter was ungrateful - after all, she threw a huge party for her, and she dared to be indignant about the adult guests... The result was real family drama, and the girl later simply decided to hang out with friends once more - and this time celebrate her birthday the way she wanted. And the OP’s dad is still sure that everything went just fine...
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
“Unfortunately, this is the real problem of many parents - they perceive the child’s birthday as their own holiday, completely forgetting that any child - no matter a toddler or a teen - is an individual with their own circle of interests,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “And these interests should not at all intersect with the interests of the parents.”
“As a result, we have many similar situations - when adults pay for throwing a party, do everything to de facto ruin it for the kid - and then are sincerely perplexed or indignant that the 'ungrateful' child was dissatisfied. I hope this girl will soon re-celebrate her birthday only with friends - and everything will be just wonderful!" Irina ponders.
Most people in the comments to the original post also joined in supporting the author, claiming that they perfectly understand and share her feelings in this situation. "It looks like your mom purposely sabotaged your milestone birthday party. She did you dirty and then tried to gaslight/guilt you into forgetting that she did you dirty," one of the commenters wrote angrily.
According to some moms in the comments, when you throw a party for your teen kid, the only person who should decide about the guests and the party per se is the birthday boy or girl. “I’m a mom of teenagers and have never done that,” one commenter admitted. "I always tried to make it special for them, it's not my day."
However, any children's birthday is a time when an unexpected issue can appear literally out of the blue. For example, this mother once invited 27 guests to her toddler's birthday - and no one out of 27 people showed up! By the way, have you, dear readers, ever encountered something similar at your own birthday party as well?
People in the comments, however, sided with the teen unanimously, claiming that her mom acted selfish and entitled here
