Having young children who require supervision is one of the most challenging phases for each parent. They’ll need to provide constant care and attention, and go through the trouble of finding a reliable babysitter for when they need to be away from home.
A woman didn’t seem to have the luxury of time or connections to look elsewhere, so she decided to pull her son out of school to babysit his little brother. Tensions arose when the boy demanded compensation and the mom flat-out rejected the idea.
The daughter eventually got involved to mediate, but this simple favor turned into a lengthy discussion. Scroll down to see how everything ended.
Babysitting favors can be a source of tension among family members
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A teenage boy wanted compensation for babysitting his little brother, but his mom wasn’t having it
He shared a screenshot of his text conversations with his mother
Eventually, his sister had to get involved in the discussion
Image credits: PheonixGalaxy
Image credits: Tahir osman / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Paying a child to do chores has its pros and cons
Compensating your child to complete a chore, such as babysitting, can have its benefits. According to finance educator and mom of two Lily Harder, one upside is that it introduces kids to the real world at a young age. That involves doing work that isn’t “fun.”
“When kids learn that earning money is tied to doing a specific job, it can provide the motivation to find other ways of generating an income through more entrepreneurial means,” Harder wrote on her website, Bringing Up Money.
By assigning monetary value to specific tasks, Harder says children develop a sense of control and ownership over their earning potential. The more chores they do, the more motivated the youngsters may be to help more around the house, while also picking tasks that are worth their while.
On the other hand, children may also be too picky about their chores. Harder says the worst case could be that they skip doing anything altogether.
But the most important point Harder brought up is that chores are a family and a team effort.
“When there is an expectation that everyone in the family has to pitch in, it can teach a different kind of responsibility to pull their own weight,” she wrote.
This is what may have happened in the story. The boy seemed to expect compensation, since his mom had done it before, causing a rift that could have been avoided in the first place.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Passing childcare responsibilities onto another child may be problematic
The mom also has her shortcomings in this situation by having her older son babysit the younger child. According to certified parenting coach Lynna Sutherland, having older siblings act as “virtual stand-ins” for parents could be a problem.
Sutherland refers to this as instrumental parentification, where children are given adult responsibilities, particularly parenting.
“It’s just not a good idea to leave your children in the care of someone who, for whatever reason, is not competent to care for them,” she wrote.
It was wrong for the mom to pull her son out of school and have him take on babysitting duties. She could’ve hired someone capable enough to handle any situation, especially emergencies that require adult intervention.
The author answered readers’ questions to provide more clarity
Most commenters sided with the boy, questioning his mother’s intentions and decisions
Others shared similar experiences
But some called him out and urged him to have more “familial empathy”
