Parents constantly worry about their children and because they want their children to succeed, they might become controlling. It may seem that you are never enough and every decision you make is a mistake because you can’t possibly know what is good for you.
This is especially evident when children finish school and it’s their time to decide what they want to do with their lives. Parents encourage their children to continue studying and get a profession. But it can’t be just any profession, it should be a lucrative one, even if the young adult has no interest in it.
If the young adults follow their heart’s desires, it may make the parents really angry. This was what happened to Reddit user aitarealjob who went against her parents' wishes and when she finally talked with her parents after years of silence, the conversation ended with a fight as usual.
More info: Reddit
Woman chose the career path of taking care of children with special needs, but her parents were opposed
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) is a nanny that works with kids with special needs. Currently, she is staying with a family that has 2 kids who need taking care of. Her service is very needed in her area as 3 special needs daycares shut down in that county.
The OP revealed that this one job earns her $120k a year. Not only that, but she lives with the family in their guesthouse rent-free and the parents actually bought her a car so she could drive their kids around. Sounds like a pretty comfortable life.
They actually refused to pay for her education and they didn't reach out to each other for quite a while until recently
Image credits: u/aitarealjob
The problem is that this career choice made the OP become distant from her parents as they believe that any job that has to do with childcare is not a real profession. They are convinced in the fact because the OP’s aunt has majored in child development and doesn’t earn that much.
The parents actually made the aunt call the OP so she could tell her how broke she was. They didn’t want to pay for OP’s college when they knew she wouldn’t be able to get a job that pays well enough, so they told their daughter to pick a different profession.
If you are thinking about getting into child care, you must be passionate about it, because why otherwise would you choose such a physically and emotionally demanding field? This probably was the case with the OP, who cut off communication with her parents when she went to college and pursued her passion.
The parents wanted to know how she was doing, how her job was and what she ended up studying
Image credits: u/aitarealjob
Recently, she started talking with her parents again, so naturally, they asked about her job and education. They were not happy when she told them that she is a nanny and finished her master’s degree in special education.
The nanny’s parents were convinced that she set herself up for life in poverty and should have gotten a “real” job like her brother who is an accountant or her sister who is a nurse.
According to Indeed, an accountant in the US, with more than 10 years of experience on average earns $61,663. And according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the median average pay for a registered nurse is $77,600 per year.
OP's answer made the parents go on a tangent about how she will be poor her whole life, just like her aunt who majored in child development
Image credits: Adam Hirschhorn (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/aitarealjob
So out of annoyance of constantly being reminded that her profession won’t bring her fortunes, she told her parents that they are very wrong and she is quite ahead of her siblings. Furthermore, in the comments, she revealed her future plans as kids grow and they may not need her assistance anymore: “The younger one will most likely need care for her entire life, plus they're trying to adopt another special needs baby, so I most likely will be here for a while. And when they don't need me, I will find another family. I'm also investing some of my money and I'm in the process of buying a duplex to rent out, so I'll be fine.”
According to the OP’s calculations, she will be able to retire in her 50s, so she is not worried about her career progression as long as her job pays her well and she is able to ask for a raise yearly.
The OP was done with being humiliated, so she told them that she actually earns more than her siblings, who, according to them, have 'real jobs'
Image credits: u/aitarealjob
The parents hung up and the siblings were also quite unhappy about her making them look bad
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
While it is obvious that the nanny has her whole life figured out, it is not clear what the parents are thinking. What we know from the story is that they told the OP’s siblings about her achievements and they didn’t appreciate it.
The sister got mad at the OP for making her and her brother look bad to their parents and the brother was also of the opinion that she shouldn’t have said anything.
Most of the people in the comments agreed that the OP did nothing wrong because she just proved that her career decision wasn’t worse than her siblings’. They believed that the parents should have been happy about her succeeding, although there were a few people who thought she didn’t have to involve her siblings in it.
What are your thoughts? Do you think the OP had the right to tell the parents that she knows how much her siblings earn and her wage is higher? Do you think the parents cared for their daughter or do you agree with commenters who say her family is toxic? Let us know in the comments!
But most of the people on Reddit didn't think the OP was to blame and were glad she managed to make a good living out of a job she loved
