If you’ve always dreamed of starting a family, finding out that you’re pregnant might be one of the best moments of your life. Finally, you can start preparing to bring a little one into the world, and in less than a year, your family will have gained an adorable new member. But there’s a time and a place for announcing good news like this, and it’s important to read the room before spilling the beans.
After one woman decided to inform her relatives of her bun in the oven at a family funeral, she was quickly shut down by her sister-in-law. Below, you’ll find the full story that was posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
It can be impossible to think about anything else when coping with a recent tragedy
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So when this woman's sister-in-law attempted to steal the show at a family funeral, she was quickly shut down
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NataKor5 / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Few-Extent-3804
Image credits: Rawpixel / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Losing a child is a tragedy that no parent should have to experience
Losing a spouse is an absolute nightmare, and losing a child is something that no parent should ever have to endure. So the pain of experiencing both at once sounds incomprehensible. Psychology Today notes that parents grieving the loss of a child may struggle with concentration, develop anxiety and/or stress, and begin to feel lethargic.
It’s also possible that they might feel bitter towards others who seem to be enjoying happy lives, and it’s common to feel isolated from the world as it appears to move on as normal while the parent is dealing with unfathomable levels of pain. It’s recommended that parents give themselves enough time to properly grieve and get support and avoid making any sudden life changes until they’re in a more stable place.
It can be equally as life-shattering to lose a spouse. Sophia Dembling detailed the “endless sorrow of grieving a spouse” for Psychology Today, noting that she misses the most boring moments with her husband the most. Having someone around to chat with while making dinner, have coffee with on a Sunday morning or to go grocery shopping with is a blessing that many of us take for granted.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The grieving process is often complicated
Sophia also shared that she misses the security of the connection she had with her husband. Suddenly, there wasn’t someone moving through the world that she knew was always thinking about her at least in the back of his mind and that would always go to her first.
And it’s incredibly painful to lose the “language of love” that you’ve created with a spouse. The inside jokes and vocabulary that only the two of you use together seems to vanish into thin air when one person is gone.
Grief will never be an easy thing to experience. Whether you’ve lost a beloved pet or the love of your life, it’s important to let yourself experience all of the emotions that come up. Verywell Health notes that it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of overwhelming sadness, guilty, inability to function, shock or numbness, confusion, anger and denial.
And when it comes to losing a child, it’s common to experience complicated grief, or intense grief reactions for a very long time. Around 10% of people who have lost a loved one experience this type of grief, but it’s even more common amongst parents who have lost a child. These parents have a much harder time accepting and adapting to the loss they’ve experienced than the majority of people grieving a loss.
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It's important to know what to do, and what not to do, when supporting bereaved loved ones
CPD Online College also notes that losing a child can impact a person’s relationships and how they function within their family. For example, the bereaved parent may feel bitter towards siblings who have kids of their own, and relatives might not know how to respond to the situation or what to say. This can strain relationships as well, if loved ones don’t feel comfortable reaching out, and in turn don’t do enough to support the grieving parent.
It’s important for loved ones to do what they can to support parents who are experiencing a tragedy like this, as they need all the help they can get during the grieving process, it just has to be the right kind of help. HelpGuide notes that it’s wise to do your research and try to understand the grieving process and know that there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. You might need to be patient with your loved one and allow them grace if they’re irritable or acting out of character for a while.
When talking with a grieving loved one, just listen and accept their feelings. Don’t tell them what to do or to focus on the bright side. And as much as possible, offer help that’s actually practical, like making frozen meals, buying groceries, cleaning their house or hiring someone to clean it, taking care of their pets, and more.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda piece discussing similar family drama, look no further than right here.
Many readers agreed that the woman was right to put her sister-in-law in her place
