For a quite a while now on a regular basis you can find so many articles and posts online through so many sites and forums about body standards, weight standards and whether you are “hot or not”. There are so many articles about people, mainly women, being insulted and degraded about their weight - in person and online. And there are so many more about women standing up for themselves and others and telling inspiring and heartfelt stories about how to accept your body and ignore the haters.
In this one I’m going to try to change the perspective a bit…
I like to consider my body type average with some extra weight, so basically I’m chubby (still a little in denial, tbh…). But I’ve recently put on some more weight which has given my self-esteem and my image of myself a bit of hard kick. So, while I just called myself average-with-some-extra-weight/chubby, a lot of people will now call me fat, and that is what I see when I look in the mirror. My boobs are always in the way, my thighs are too big and floppy, my ass isn’t tight, my arms always LOOKS fat in pictures, my knees look wrong, I’m starting to get back fat, and according to me (and societies standards) I am now supposed to be considered ‘fat’and ‘overweight’and ‘ugly’. And to be honest, I’ve allowed myself to start believing that. I’ve thought about ways to quickly and easily lose weight without going on a diet or pulling too much attention to it, which unfortunately has included bulimic thoughts, and starving myself. But screws that. I’m not going to make myself throw up to fit ‘societies’standards. I’m not going to starve myself to fit into an old pair of jeans. I love myself, and my food, waaaayyyy too much for that! Did I mention I love food? And the way it tastes? And how I love the way it tastes going down but how I’m definitely going to hate the way it tastes coming back up? And after having these thoughts and ‘learning to hate myself’, I came to a conclusion…
Yes, you get people who are super thin, average, chubby, overweight and obese. But so what. You don’t know their story. You don’t know their struggles and you have no right to judge.
They may be super thin because there is no food in the house, or they may be super thin because they like it and choose to be like that. They may be overweight and obese because of an illness, mental or physical, or they just prefer to be like that. NO. RIGHT. TO JUDGE. Anyone. Ever.
So to everyone who has ever been judged, by themselves or anyone else, male or female, young or old, thin or fat, I tell you this. SCREW THEM! It’s all just a matter of perspective anyway…
For instance, put me, average-with-some-extra-weight/chubby, in a room with some of the most beautiful and thinnest models you can find. I’ll feel completely out of place and totally obese next to the itty bitty toothpicks (no offence, just trying to build an image). They will look and me and most likely think I’m totally overweight as well. Now take a picture and ask the public?
I’m going to be the dinosaur and they’re going to be my toothpicks. Everyone will tell me how fat and ugly I am and how I should lose weight, or even kill myself, because they are so thin and beautiful and I’ll never look like them.
Not put me in a room with people who are overweight or obese.
Now I feel thin and beautiful and find them ugly and overweight, and they find me beautiful and wish they could have my body. If only they knew I hated it myself…
Now they’re the dinosaurs and I’m their toothpick.
Now they’re the ugly and fat ones who should go kill or starve themselves while I’m the pretty and thin one. At least that’s what everyone will say, including me and them inside the room.
Okay…
Now put us all together.
The size 0’s and under will be perceived as the gorgeous ones we should all strive to be and they get all the ‘good’ attention. They stare at the rest of us with disdain and disgust, being thankful they’re not as fat and ugly as all of us.
The average-with-some-extra-weight/chubby, well, we feel ugly and out of place. Hating the fact that were not as thin as the 0’s, and being thankful we’re not as ‘fat’ as the overweights or obese. We get the insults, calling us fat and saying we’ll never be the 0’s and we’re going to end up like the overweights or obese.
The overweights or obese are slammed with hate and insults from others and themselves. They wish they could be any of us, instead of themselves. They get so many hurtful and disgusting comments hurled at them. Even being told to kill themselves or not show themselves in public.
Because that’s just what our society is like nowadays.
And that’s the thing that hurts the most.
The perspective that society has been forcing on us, and is indoctrinating into the minds of specifically the young people, is hurtful, horrible and heartbreaking.
If you’re surrounded by a group of 0’s and you gain a little weight then you’re the ‘fat one’, then you are seen with a group of friends who are a size or two bigger than you and suddenly you’re the ‘thin one’.
So what are you? What are we? How do we even know what is thin or fat anymore? It all depends on perspective lately.
One person calls you fat and another calls you thin and envies your body.
You call yourself ugly and another calls you beautiful.
You look in the mirror with disgust but you don’t see your partner staring at you with love from the other side of the room.
All you see is fat and ugliness but your child just sees this amazing human being that is their hero.
You love what your wearing and another sneers at the ugliness that is supposedly you.
You duck your head in the store because you believe you’re ugly while someone walks past and thinks “Wow, they’re beautiful! I wish I could look like them!”
There are so many body standards today, and it all changes with perspective.
I found some photos of myself from a few years ago, and I couldn’t help myself from thinking how thin and beautiful I looked. Because just a while ago I took some photos with a size 0 friend, and my word, you won’t believe how fat and ugly I felt looking at those photos and comparing everything, our arms, waists, legs… I hated those photos. And after seeing my “before” photos I hated them even more. So much so that I don’t even want my photos taken anymore…
Society and the perspective of other people has taught me to hate myself. And it has taught so many others to hate themselves too, or to hate others.
But screw the perspective of others.
Instead of being thin or fat, or chubby or overweight, or obese or whatever new names and body standards society has come up with, just be yourself.
Don’t simply be thin, fat or whatever, just be you.
Because it is impossible to be anything else, anyway. To one person you may be fat, but to another you’re thin. So just stop with the body standard labels; just be you. Without these incredibly double standard body standards going around, because they just screw with your mind at the end of the day.
When I look in the mirror I no longer see a average-with-some-extra-weight/chubby person. I see me. If I stay this way, so what? If I lose weight, so what? If I gain more weight, so what?
My body, my choice, my perspective. I am me, and that is it.
Whether you end up loving your body, or hating your body, or losing or gaining weight, so what?
Screw everyone else’s perspective!
It is your body, your choice and only your perspective that matters. Stop trying to be thin or fat, just start being you. No matter who that is or what your weight it.
If you want to be a size 0’s, then strut your stuff and be that damn 0.
If you want to be a chubby, squishy, gummy bear, then be a damn chubby, squishy, gummy bear.
No matter the weight, be who you want to be and who you are happy with and screw everyone else and their opinions.
Ignore those perspectives.
My dears,
Go ahead. Be thin. Be average. Be chubby. Be fat. BE YOU! But most of all, be accepting of yourself, and just be happy.
