83 Seemingly Ordinary Behaviors That Psychologists Say Are Not Normal At All

What a person believes to be normal often stems from their surroundings. If they see family and friends frequently doing or saying something, they are likely to see it as ordinary and shape their behavior accordingly.

Psychologist Albert Bandura is credited with the broader theory of how people learn behaviors from their surroundings. He first outlined it in a 1963 paper and fully explained it in the 1977 book Social Learning Theory. This theory remains in use and explains behavior today, often alongside other frameworks.

According to Bandura, beyond learning from their own experiences, people also observe and learn from others. When they see someone succeed by taking certain actions, they are likely to copy that behavior in pursuit of success as well. Conversely, if people see someone punished for an action, they are more likely to avoid that behavior.

Social learning happens through four distinct cognitive processes. First, the learner notices someone else’s behavior. Someone the learner sees as a role model will often command more attention. Then the learner remembers the behavior. Next, the learner evaluates whether they can replicate the behavior based on their skills and abilities. Finally, the learner may feel motivated to apply the behavior in their own life depending on whether the role model is rewarded or punished for it.

These processes apply easily to a wide range of learning experiences. For example, a beginner sees someone with their desired physique doing an exercise at the gym. They take a mental note of the proper form and technique. They assess their abilities and experience to adapt the exercise to their skill level. They replicate it and feel motivated to keep using it in their gym routine to achieve the physique, strength, or stamina they are aiming for.

Misconceptions about what is normal can also stem from information bubbles. Psychotherapist Amir Levine, Ph.D., explains that people are more likely to tune into channels, podcasts, and news feeds that reflect their own beliefs. This creates echo chambers that skew their sense of what is normal because the opinions they already hold seem more common.

Levine says this reinforcement of one’s beliefs can lead to various problems. First, it can make an individual more susceptible to misinformation. If they see sources they agree with as more trustworthy, it becomes easy to sell them something that isn’t entirely true, distorting their view of reality.

Information bubbles have negative impacts on mental health too, the psychotherapist explains. Overexposure to one media source can cause an increase in anxiety and cognitive dissonance. Fear-inducing content in a person’s information bubble is more likely to lead to a paranoid, non-objective view of the world.

A narrow perspective can isolate individuals and lower self-esteem, causing more tense arguments with friends and family and feelings of loneliness. This can lead people to seek more confirmation in their media sources, creating a negative feedback loop.

The best ways to counteract the information bubble effect are to diversify media sources, be more curious, less judgmental, and open to dialogue. Engaging with varied viewpoints and opinions builds a more objective, open-minded view of the world. This helps align what people perceive as normal with reality.

Neuropsychologist Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., says there’s a huge misconception of what normal even is. Many people think a “normal” person is physically healthy, sociable, emotionally stable, and productive. Someone ideal. However, that is a deviation from what normal people actually are. Normal people are not perfect.

Being outside of what is considered normal isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s just a sign that someone may feel, think, or behave in ways that are different from what most people expect in a certain scenario. It is defined by a large group of people, each with different opinions, feelings, behaviors, and expectations. At the end of the day, no individual is truly normal, and they should not strive to be. People tend to be happier when they learn to accept themselves and others as they are, instead of looking for norms or ideals to compare to.