Powerful Photo Series By Ganesh Toasty Captures The Trauma That Rape Survivors Continue To Face From Society

Ganesh Toasty works in Chennai especially as a fashion photographer - the women in his paintings are so otherwise be more classically beautiful. The approach to the subject of rape is new to him.

With his pictures he wanted the everydayness of sexual assaults show: Every woman can pass it, each man could be perpetrators.

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It looks with its non-existent eyes at this beautiful woman whose sparkling eyes gaze with a smile at something or someone. It has heard with its similarly non-existent ears her name being called upon several times and it tries to utter the name with its non-existent lips but it knows that she couldn’t hear it but the old pot still tries to call upon her name one more time, Tanirika! Tanirika, as her name suggests is an ardent lover of flowers. She spends most of her time taking care of the various plants around her home. She talks to them while watering and together they gaze at the rising sun. Though her curious mind took her to lands faraway from home, her legs always found their way back. Those faraway lands taught her what she needs to make the world a better place but she chose home because there’s where her heart lies.

In his years of teaching he has said more ‘goodbyes’ than ‘Welcome backs’ as almost every year the children he taught left town for a better life after graduation. A wise man by all means, he never blamed them for their choice. He always wished each one of them the best and stood there watching silently as his beautiful town was being deprived of its youth. He did the same when his lovely daughterTanirika left town a few years back for her studies. He never expected her to return but when she did he knew right away that it is the happiest moment of his life. He helped her set up her own garden near their home and watched everyday with so much love as she took care of it. He realised that what she misses is a good life partner and expresses his wish to her. She readily agrees as she knows that her father will always do the best for her.

Her smile reveals to the vast expanse with her eyes the excitement her heart has for the beautiful and infinite possibilities that are going to be rained upon her.

Despite the differences in their fortunes they have managed to sustain their friendship. Born into a pretty well off family, Kathir had a secured life while growing up but everything turned upside down when he reached high school. His father fell into alcoholism and had reached a place where there was no turning back. They lost almost everything and kathir had no choice but to take responsibility. He quit his studies early to support his family and his hands never touched a book ever since. Sometimes when he looks at Selvam he couldn’t help but wonder how his life would’ve turned out if he hadn’t sacrificed his education but the feeling never turned into jealousy as he is genuinely happy with what Selvam has achieved. Selvam is a person who seems calm and gentle on the surface but in him lays another side that his friends on rare occasions have witnessed. A side that’s ugly and violent. When provoked Selvam can change into a totally different person with fuming eyes and strong hands that just want to destruct and his friends are aware that it’s not a pleasant sight and they try their best not to.

He lost his dad at a very young age and had to helplessly watch as his grieving mother took over his father’s Bakery business. She has worked very hard ever since to make ends meet. The only shining light during those times of darkness was Janavi, his ex-girlfriend. He loved her with his whole heart and felt with her a kind of happiness that he’s never felt before. She gave his life some meaning and he cherished every moment he spent with her but like the saying goes ‘all good things come to an end’ their relationship perished. Janavi slowly fell out of love with him and eventually found someone else. He felt hurt and betrayed. He spent the months following the breakup with so much denial and kept pursuing her for a valid reason and never being satisfied with what he hears in return. After a point he realised that it was over and let the grief take over him. He started visiting sex workers with what little money he made and it eventually became a habit that he couldn’t end. He drove himself to sex addiction trying to forget a memory but with no avail and he’s slowly moving away from the person he could be. Vasu, A collegue of Selvam is a very knowledgeable and well-read person but has the strange quality of not applying what he has learnt as he’s extremely malleable and easily convinced to do something. He has always preferred others to take the lead and it doesn’t take a lot to make him say yes to almost everything.

It doesn’t take very long for the central topic of conversation to become about women. Selvam boasts about his various escapades in the city while they all make fun of Rudhra for his addiction as he smiles back at them. Vasu remains silent as always nodding when needed to be nodded and laughing when needed to be laughed. All eyes are on kathir now as he describes about this beautiful woman who lives in this town. He tells them that he’s seen her only twice walking along the shore but those brief moments were enough for him to be enticed by her splendour.

Confused, the other three follow his gaze and there she is taking a walk small distance away from them. Kathir doesn’t take his eyes off her. He just mouths the words ‘She’s the one’.

The seed of lust in him starts to germinate and engulf his body in fraction of time and through his eyes it can see only one thing, Her. Its roots are craving for her.Rudhra looks at her with the same wicked smile he had when they were making fun of his addiction. Vasu just looks at her frighteningly as something inside tells him that things are going to get out of hand.

Kathir looks at him both confused and surprised but the moment both their eyes met, he knew. Selvam has been provoked, Provoked by her beauty. Selvam’s grab meant that Kathiris by no means going back. Together they move towards her slowly transforming into animals not knowing that once they transform completly, there is no way they could become humans again.

Something she couldn’t exactly pin point to but after a few moments she realised that the feeling was more inclined towards her ears. She could hear a series of thuds behind her getting closer by each second. The moment she turns back, it was too late. A man grabs her from behind and before she could even react from the initial shock he covers her mouth with his hands. Another man joins him as her eyes watch with horror two more men rushing towards them.

Selvam lets go of her and watches as kathir and Rudhra hold her firmly. Tanirika, with all her might tries to break off from their hold but to no avail. They are just too strong. Suddenly like a bullet in the head she realised that her mouth is no longer covered by anyone and with last ray of hope, she shouts.

But all he sees is a woman who doesn’t want to be with him. He watches as she yells with all the energy she’s got in her, He watches as she keeps trying to break away from his friends hold. He watches her horrified eyes that still believed that she can escape. He wants her to look at him and shut up. He knew exactly what to do to make that happen.

When Selvam’s hand hit Tanirika’s face with all the force he can manage and when some of her blood splashed over Rudhra’s face, everything became silent for an instant. Rudhra watcheswith shock at Selvamas he has never seen a woman being hit that way.All they could hear was the thud of Tanirika falling. Rudhra with blood on his eyes saw Tanirika finally letting go.

For a split second she looks at the raised hand of Selvam and then his fuming eyes. She knew what those eyes wants and she also knew that the raised hand will keep hurting her until the eyes gets what it wants. She wants to say it out loud but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Despite the blow, the pain and the shame she still for a moment thought about home and her garden. She thought about how they lay where they are alone as she is right now always waiting for someone to take care of them. She tries to lift her head and move her body. She wants to just crawl all the way home but when she looks again at Selvam and all the other faces she knew that her fall is permanent.

They keep hearing Selvam’s voice ordering them to drag her deep into the woods. Without any word they oblige by taking one hand each and drag her towards the woods. The force of their drag creates a small storm around her and tries to cover her completely with pine leaves like she’s already being buried before dying.

Their eyes meet for some time and he couldn’t help but keep looking at it as he feels he sees something familiar in them. She doesn’t move her gaze away from him. Tears flow from her eyes but she still doesn’t take her eyes away from him. That’s when it hit him, what he sees in them is a part of himself. The part that was hit by grief long ago, the part that left him helpless and stranded in a dungeon with his hands raised above his head begging for light but all they found was darkness everywhere. He held on to darkness and let it drag him everywhere his heart didn’t want to be and finally let it fling him down a spot where he’s about to hurt another human being.

Though Tanirika’s hands submit to their hold, Rudhra could hear a silent scream from within her hands to be let go. The same scream he has been hearing throughout his life. Holding onto too many things have not made his heart stronger but weaker and he could hear it whisper, ‘Let it go’. He whimpers for a second and let go of her hand.

But of courseRudhra doesn’t know anything about it. He just stares intently as darkness slowly evades him and light fills in drop by drop. The same light whose empathy he longed for a very long time. When he realised that he’s almost at the end of the tunnel he turned towards Tanirika. He looks at her wounded face and their eyes lock for an instant. His eyes ask her for forgiveness and when her eyes blinked he felt himself falling from the tunnel and keeps moving faster away from it until it becomes just a dot in this vast expanse filled only by light.

Kathir, whose hand he grabbed earlier that started this entire thing let go of Tanirika’s other hand. Infuriated by what he saw Selvam runs towards them growling like a mad dog. Rudhra turns at the right time to push Selvam away but he’s doesn’t fall, he comes back with his fists pumped with fury to knock Rudhra down once and for all. Rudhra takes a blow and another but Selvam couldn’t make him tumble. He could see a kind of fortitude in Rudhra’s eyes despite the blows he takes. He tries to ignore it and push him aside to reach Tanirika but he doesn’t. Rudhra with all the force he could gather pins Selvam to the ground and doesn’t let him go. Selvam tries to act tough but Rudhra doesn’t care. He yells at Vasu for help but from the corner of his right eye he could see him just standing and doing nothing. He stares at Rudhra’s eyes still struggling with his body to break free but it ceases slowly to nothing. In the midst of the sudden silence he could actually hear Rudhra’s heart beating and it gets louder and louder but he doesn’t feel like shutting his ears, he keeps listening to itand when it reaches its threshold, he realised that it isn’tRudhra’s heartbeat that he hears but his own. A beat he hasn’t heard for a very long time.

Tears flow from her eyes but she doesn’t do anything about it. She doesn’t say or do anything. She just wants to go home. She is afraid that those hands might touch her again but nothing happens. She could see the four men still fixed at the same spot right in front of her but she feels them far away from her resembling four identical chess pieces. She tries to find the man who saved her by adjusting her gaze but it doesn’t help. Any of the four could be him but she won’t go back to have a look. She remembers his face. She mentally places it on top of those four chess pieces and whispers Thank you.

He ran towards her like a maniac. During the run he didn’t for even a second look away from her face. The face that he couldn’t see because of her hair disguising it completely which reminded him of an old painting hung somewhere in his school whose subject’s face is hidden completely by its long hair whose face he can never see but can only imagine.

He looks into her eyes but finds nothing in them other than tears. With tears in his eyes he wipes the blood of his lovely daughter’s face. He desperately wants to ask her what happened but his weak heart doesn’t allow him to. Tanirikatakes her father’s hand and together they start towards their home. She turns to look at him and realises that he’s in extreme misery. She tightens her grip, lie on his shoulder and could hear herself whispering “I’m okay appa. Nothing happened”.

One day while playing outside my home I tripped over some small pieces of rock and fell head first to the ground. My appahearing me yell with pain came rushing out to aid. He carried me all the way to the hospital telling me stories about brave little girls to make me stop crying but I didn’t. I stopped crying only when the doctor wiped clean my temple and placed a small bandage over the wound. The bandage was removed a couple of days later and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw a small reddish formation on my temple. My eyes slowly started to water and with those puffy eyes I ran to my appa and asked him what it was and whether it will be there always. With a little laugh he held on to me and explained that the formation isnothing to be afraid of and it’s called a ‘Scar’. He continued by explaining that a scar is just a biological process that helps to repair the wound and it’ll vanish in a few days but I wasn’t convinced. I felt uneasy whenever I looked at a mirror and with anger I started to play the blame game. For the next few days, whenever I saw a rock lying on the lawn I just picked them and threw them out with such a rage a little girl could gather. Noticing what I was upto my appa called out for me. He calmly asked me what I was doing and I explained. He quietly listened to what I had to say and when I was done he sighed for a moment. He took the stone that I was still carrying in my hand and with his gentle voice he told me that my fall wasn’t the stone’s fault. He further elaborated that the rocks are inanimate objects placed wherever they are by the force of nature and that I unfortunately stumbled upon one. He called it an accident and advised that I as an animate object should be more careful in future with my movements so that I don’t fall often as there are so many inanimate objects around us. I remember being angry with him for a while for not taking my side and in a few days the scar vanished and I moved on. The memory washes all over me like a wave while I sit here with blood on my face and a scar in my heart. Is this my fault too? Is it my fault that I had to take a walk through the woods and stumbled upon those men? Is this an accident too? Are they inanimate objects as well? Should I be more careful whenever I take a walk outside and look from the corner of my eyes always for demons lurking in the dark? Or should I just stay home from now on because I’ll be defenceless when confronted by one of these demons? And most importantly, Will this scar vanish? Will I move on?