Imagine running late, trying to get ready to go out. But when you throw in autism, strict religious expectations, and a father with a very short temper, things can go from frustrating to downright tense.
Today's Original Poster (OP) shared an intriguing story of how their father made their brother pay back for a speeding ticket which he received after hurrying to get to church on time.
More info: Reddit
Getting ready for church in this family is like packing for a trip five minutes before the flight—chaotic and filled with yelling
Image credits: Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author's brother is autistic and usually takes some time getting ready on his own until someone steps in to help
Image credits: throwralying12
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The father blamed the rest of the family for delaying him after receiving a speeding ticket on their way to church
Image credits: throwralying12
Image credits: anna_ostanina / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He decided to punish the author's brother by withholding his allowance and not taking him to basketball
Image credits: throwralying12
Image credits: ksandrphoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The father kept to his word by stopping him from enjoying his hobbies, and began hosting Bible study sessions in place of those activities
Image credits: throwralying12
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Through all of this, the author's mom basically keeps the home together, and the father says it is her responsibility
Image credits: throwralying12
Image credits: Debby Hudson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author is frustrated with the changes, especially the forced family Bible study, but hopes that it'll stop at some point
Image credits: throwralying12
The author is upset, as they are forced to pretend to be more interested in church than their personal hobbies
The OP's 11 year-old brother has autism and other special needs and usually needs extra time to get dressed and washed up. Their mom usually helps him, but this often leads to frustration, especially from their dad.
One Sunday morning, the family found themselves in the middle of a tense situation when they struggled to get ready for church on time. The OP's dad was upset about being late to church, and after receiving a speeding ticket, he blamed the family for making him late.
He yelled at both the mom and brother when they returned, even though the delay was out of their control. This wasn’t an isolated incident, though. The father was upset that the rest of the family wasn't prioritizing church, and decided to take action.
He punished the brother by saying he wouldn’t take him to his weekend basketball class, claiming that the brother’s excitement about basketball over church meant that the sport had become an “idol before God.”
The dad also stopped giving the brother his allowance, saying it would go toward paying for the ticket. Over the following week, he kept his word. The brother missed basketball class on Saturday, and he didn’t receive his allowance for two weeks.
In a family meeting after dinner, the OP's dad explained that the speeding ticket wasn’t the main issue. Instead, he believed the family wasn’t putting God first, which was why activities like basketball were becoming more important than church.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Dream Big Children acknowledge that effective time management is an important skill for everyone, but is typically more difficult for individuals with autism. According to them, establishing a consistent routine like using visual schedules helps to structure daily activities.
They also suggest breaking tasks into smaller steps, supported by tools like timers or task lists. Furthermore, using organizational tools like planners and apps assists in staying on track, and teaching skills like time estimation and self-monitoring fosters independence.
Conversely, imposing rigid control—like religion—on children, especially ones with special needs, is a dangerous thing to do. According to MSN, forcing religion on children can lead to unintended consequences. It may weaken one's personal belief, as faith is supposed to grow naturally, not through coercion.
Strict rules and punishments can also create fear as opposed to real faith, leaving children feeling controlled and resentful toward both the parent and the religion. It also often results in a surface-level faith, where religion becomes a routine rather than a meaningful practice, potentially damaging long-term connections to spirituality.
In addition to this, The Leaf Wing Center emphasizes that understanding what motivates one's autistic child is essential for fostering growth. Motivation can come from various sources, like specific activities, environments, or rewards, and these can differ greatly from child to child.
Once these motivators can be identified, parents can create strategies to then encourage engagement and their development. If the OP's father noticed the son's excitement for basketball, it could have served as a positive tool for supporting his progress, rather than it being a point of contention.
Netizens questioned the father's actions, stating that his resolve to make his son pay for the ticket was unreasonable, with many feeling that his priorities are very misguided.
They also showed concern for the emotional well-being of the children as well as the long-term effects of the father’s actions, especially regarding his relationship with his children and their faith.
What do you think about the father’s decision to punish his son by canceling his activities and withholding allowance? Please, let us know your thoughts!
Netizens strongly disapproved of the father’s decisions, particularly regarding the speeding ticket and his harsh treatment on the family
