I have a dog and I spend quite a lot of time with her: I play with her, I train her. She’s very funny and active, and attracts children like a magnet.
And it turns out that I often get acquainted with them, chatting, they ask, I tell about the dog, how to train her and so on. A child approaches, you talk to him, everything is as usual, and at some point the parent appears. You know, control. And I find myself thinking that in most cases, you know in advance what kind of parent it will be. Whether he greets you, speaks to you, apologizes that his child bothered me, how he will talk with the child. You know about his social level approximately. Because children are the mirror of parents.
With a difference of three days I met two boys. Both are 10 years old. Both have dogs. But they are so different that it struck me. Both the boys and the dogs differ). Their appearance, speech, attitude to the animal, interests.
The first is an ordinary boy, inquisitive, neat, educated, a little timid. We talk about dogs, about his one, about mine. He asks how to teach him to obey and execute commands. We talk about animals, that they are all smart and just need to be treated well. He tells about his dog, I tell about mine. He has a small doggy that looks at my restless dog and doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on. The boy asks the time when we walk, wants to cross more often, to get the dog out of the stupor and to adapt at least somehow)
The second one is also an ordinary guy, but dirty, tattered, dragging the animal on a leash, the animal resists. We get acquainted. He has a very cunning look. I’d call it «Tom Sawyer-ish», but this look isn’t a kind one. He’s very amused by absolutely stupid nickname of his dog. Such nicknames are usually given to animals as a mockery or something. Not from love great for sure. I find out that his dad gave the nickname.
The guy is wondering why I'm cleaning up after my dog. I explain. He’s thinking about it. Doesn’t seem to understand. He asks what's in the backpack. I show it - a lot of toys, water, bonuses and other dog stuff. Only a knife interested him. Normal interest of the boy, of course, but ... then he tells with aspiration about dad’s jailbird friend, his eyes burn with the same brilliance as when he saw the knife. The dog all this time is getting under his feet, he infinitely pulls her, makes silent. Needless to say, that the dog is all dirty, with a dull hair and some nervous habits. And with an absolutely moronic nickname. We drift apart and least of all I want to meet this boy again, but at the same time, I would really like to see his parents.
This difference between two children of the same age still worries me. When you look and understand what different things are invested and not invested in children. It becomes sickening. You see love and its absence. Care and neglect. And let I can’t know exactly what will come out of these two boys, but something tells me that the first guy has more chances.
Probably, it’s clear how the train of thought developed further. From whom do you need to protect children? From us, in the first place. As the well-known character said to everyone: «All parents spoil children!».
Since this is inevitable, can we at least try to minimize the degree of spoiling?
I have no children. For the time being I can’t answer the question - why? And I'm not very interested in why others have children. I certainly guess, but I'm afraid to hear the answers)
Of course, in this position you always risk to hear – have your own first and then teach the others! It's always so touching. I'm certainly not Makarenko, but I've always liked pedagogy. Theory is theory. In practice, it's more difficult and being a parent is incredibly difficult. But after all, someone is not bad at it. Nobody said it was easy. You’re growing a person!
I was horrified by the comments to illustration 6. For me it’s the most important illustration in the series. Dad doesn’t know best, as well as mom. The task of dads and moms is to teach the child to think in order to distinguish between the bad and the good, and be able to take responsibility for his choice, to take consequences.
I can just finish with a quote: «... the she-wolf says to her cubs: «Bite like me» and that's enough, and the hare teaches the leverets: «Run like me» and that's enough too, but the man teaches the cub: «Think like me» and this is a crime...».
With gratitude to adequate parents)
P.S.: and I apologize if you have no peace of mind, thinking about the nickname of the dog.
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